It isn’t about smarts.

Why are so many in such a hurry for their children to grow up?

Push and push. And push some more. We act like intelligence is the most important thing. Kids must be the smartest in the class, and the younger the better, because that just shows how much “smarter” they are.

We could have started Katie last year in K. She is smart. But we waited. I’m glad we did. Being the smartest isn’t the most important. Being kind, loving, compassionate, and many other things are. I am so proud of how Katie has been such a friend to everyone, she loves on others, and desires to help those in trouble or in need.

If someone is the smartest person in the class or college or their job, but has no love for others, or can relate to them, well, that intelligence is meaningless. If someone is super smart, ends up with an amazing job, makes a lot of money… even gives to charity (but for wrong reasons) but doesn’t know how to love others they think are unworthy or less important than themselves… all that means nothing.

Check out what the Bible says:

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Let-kids-flyI am all for encouraging kids. I am for helping them achieve goals. I am all for embracing what they love to learn. I am all for encouraging them in what they love to do (we do that for my oldest who loves all things science. And sharks. HAHA) I am for helping them be successful in school AND in life. BUT… that doesn’t mean my child has to be the youngest and smartest in their class. It doesn’t mean that unless my child can read by age 2 they are never going to amount to anything. It doesn’t mean that I have to force them to read, write, count, and all this other stuff because I *think* they have to. I see a lot of parents do this. I have even been guilty at times. If we are honest, I think it makes US, as the parents, feel good. We like bragging. We like the fact our kids look smarter than others. We think it makes US look smart and awesome and amazing. Our kids could probably care less if they read at 2 or when they start school. We squeal with delight when our 3 year old can read a 5 syllable word, count to 100, or do multiplication. We video it. We post it on Facebook. Do you think our kids really care that much!?

What is our motivation for pushing them? What is the true reason behind us wanting them to do everything the earliest, the youngest, and the best? Why do we think that in order for our children to be important and successful they have to be the smartest? Why do we push so hard? Why not allow them to develop into their own unique beings?

When you are a child of God, YOU matter. When you chose to believe in Christ and what He did for you upon that cross, you realize that there is so much more to life than success, because it isn’t about THIS life, or achieving things in THIS life. We can’t take anything with us when we leave this Earth. Things of eternal value are what are most important. Love. Grace. Mercy. Forgiveness. A relationship with Christ. Loving others into that same amazing relationship.

Intelligence is not all that matters. Being the best and the smartest isn’t what matters.

They are only children for a short short time. It is gone in the blink of an eye. Savor it. Soak it up like pancakes soaking up fresh maple syrup, because that sweetness will be gone in an instant.

I truly believe that kids just want to BE. KIDS. 

So let them.



Book freak

I am a book freak.  I love love love reading. I wish I did it more though. It is hard to find time to read sometimes, so I dont do it as much as I would like. I like fiction, non fiction, science, etc. Well I dont like trashy sappy romance novels. LOL. No thanks. I have recently read “the Hunger Games” triology. OH. MY. GOODNESS. SO GOOD! AND the movie came out today!!!!!!!!!! EEK! I cant wait to see it with my friend who is also a book fanatic and obsessed with the HungerGames. YES KATE! when do we go!??? 🙂

I have read alot of Christian fiction…. and some is good. Some is cheesy. LOL. I have read alot of Karen Kingsbury, Terri Blackstock, and Dee Henderson and I like most of their stuff. Redeeming Love is a FANTASTIC book. Anyway…lately, I am kinda over fiction. I want something with more depth. I want to grow and challenge myself. I want something more than men do this, women do that, kids do this,  or How to change your dogs behavior in less than 1 second lol.  So, I posted on FB and in a board I am on and people gave me a TON of books 🙂 I have a huge list now.

It was SO cute though…my husband went on a book search and find for me last night. You see, he also went to seminary and is an ordained pastor AND we moved to where we are in hopes to one day start a church 🙂 SO! he has TONS.I mean TONS of books! LOL. I was telling him what people suggested and he would jump up and say OH I HAVE THAT!! and start telling me all about it. He was so excited to help me and excited to share things with me and help me learn 🙂 I love my husband!

SO! I am reading “The Pursuit of Holiness” by Jerry Bridges first. Only a little into it so far and its GOOOOOOD. I cant wait to continue to dive deeper! I will share tidbits of things as I read this and other books. If anyone else has ideas! please comment! 🙂

First thing I want to share is this:

“For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.” (Romans 6:14 NIV)

“whatever your sin problem (or problems) the Bible does have an answer for you. There is hope. You and I can walk in obedience to God’s Word and live a life of holiness.” Jerry Bridges, The Pursuit of Holiness

I think thats pretty cool. We all will constantly be striving to be holy. but we CAN be more holy. We CAN overcome our sin, thanks be to God! I am looking forward to reading more, learning more, growing more, being challenged and shaped by the Lord – and I really do strive to pursue holiness more. Its a hard concept in this time though. It won’t be easy, but I know WITH Christ I CAN DO IT.

I will leave you with three things to think on, again, from this book, explaining why we have SUCH an issue with holiness and lack the desire for it we should all have as believers:
1) “The first problem is that our attitude toward sin is more SELF centered than GOD centered. We are more concerned with our “victory” over sin than we are about the fact that our sins grieve the heart of God” (YIKES! OUCH! but sadly… this is true)
2) “Our second problem is that we have misunderstood ‘living by faith’ (galations 2:20: I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me) to mean that no effort at holiness is required on our part. In fact, sometimes we have even suggested that any effort on our part is “of the flesh.” (again. yikes! I have seen this…)
3) “Our third problem is that we do NOT take some sin seriously. We have mentally catogorized sins into that which is unacceptable and that which may be tolerated a bit.” (DOUBLE OUCH! I know this is true. Sometimes I dont take my sin of worry seriously enough. The Bible is CLEAR about worry, and it GRIEVES God very much when I chose to worry, rather than trust Him.)

SO! there you go! I am looking forward to learning more about each of these “problems” as I continue reading. I encourage you to challenge yourself! Challenge your faith. Expand your knowledge! It’s pretty cool and exciting 🙂 AND if anyone else has book ideas! leave a comment!!! THANKS! 🙂

thinking the best

I love Karen Kingsbury.  She is probably my favorite Christian fiction author.  I especially love the Baxtar Family Dramas.  They consist of many books, and I just read the last Baxter book, Sunset.  Most of the series in the Baxtar Dramas have a central theme.  The biggest theme that is recurring is REDEMPTION.  There are also themes of grace and forgivness as well, not only from Christ, but learning to forgive each other.  Sometimes, I am not that good at it with Andrew.  Things are stressful right now, especially with us being around each other all day, but that is not an excuse for me not to forgive him.  Sometimes, I tell him I forgive him, but then I still hold it over his head.  You can call it a “woman thing” if you want, but that is NOT true forgiveness.  In forgiving Andrew, I  need to truly let it go.  Sometimes, my anger comes from simply just thinking the worst of him.  I take what he said too negative, thinking he meant it to purposely hurt me.  Therefore, I am expecting him to apologize for something he didn’t mean, which makes it hard to truly forgive something he doesn’t even understand!  Well, in this book I just read, one particular line really spoke to me.  It is something we have even been talking about in counseling too.  It proceeds with someone saying: “I let myself be tricked into thinking the worst of the man I loved.”  Oh, I KNOW I do this. My heart KNOWS Andrew loves me and would never want to hurt me, but sometimes, I let my stupid thoughts win out. . .which causes strife.  It then follows with another person saying: “In the process of forgiveness, people need to think the best of each other also.  Otherwise there could be no progress at all.”  This really hit me in the eyes, because it is something I am not too good at.  I wonder why we nit-pick over the same things over and over, when I THOUGHT we forgave and moved on.  The reason there hasn’t been progress is because I am not doing a good job at thinking the best of him.  Andrew, I am sorry.  I know it won’t be fixed overnight, but I realize I do this and I want to get better.  I know you love me and want the best for me.  I know, and trust, you MEAN the best for me in situations, even if at times you seem, as I always say, “harsh”.  I realize that sometimes that is what I need, especially when I am worrying over senseless things.  Please forgive me for not thinking the best of you.  Honey, I love you.  I want progress.  I will try and MAKE progress by thinking the best of you, what you say, and what you do.  I love you very much!