Cleaning out the (social networking) Clutter

There are a lot of social networking sites out there today.

Facebook. Instagram. Twitter. Reddit. Linkedin. Tumblr. Snapchat. Google+. I am sure I am missing some…

It gives me a headache just thinking about it all. These can be an amazing tool. I use mine to keep in touch with loved ones who are states away. I also think these can become a crutch. They become a tool Satan uses to make us fall into the comparison game, gossip, anxiety, depression, and stay “friended” with people we may not really “like”, who are unhealthy for us, or who just plum annoy us (no offense haha) for fear of them knowing we un-friended them or whatnot.

Social media conceptI do have Facebook and Instagram. Facebook is very limited, mainly so family and friends who live elsewhere can see pictures. I have Instagram because I love photography, travel, and nature, and it calms me to follow pages with beautiful photos. Also. Less drama. LOL. Many people are on BOTH Facebook and Instagram. Do I really NEED everyone on BOTH accounts?

I have decided to clean out the clutter. I have decided that I should not let my fear of doing so make me have to delete the account I WANT to keep. About twice a year, I go through my newsfeed, pages, and friends list. It is so easy to change my newsfeed or unlike pages. But people? That is scary for me. I often have unfriending anxiety.

What will they think!?
Will they notice!?
Will they hate me?
I don’t want to be mean
I don’t want them to think I hate them
I don’t want them to take it personally

I mean come on, Em. Reall? Most WON’T care. If they do, they will ask about it

I have come up with some guidelines to help me decide who stays and who goes:

1) Facebook needs to be more personal. Instagram is more open. This means I need to clean out my friends list on FB and make it minimal. Keep it personal.

2) Do I know them in person? Did I go to school with them? If I only know them through online groups, have I kept in contact with them for a long period of time? These are all good questions to ask yourself when going through your social networking site feeds/lists

3) Would I tell them Happy Birthday? There are people who when FB tells me it is their birthday, and I am kinda like ehh so? That may sound rude, but if I don’t care enough to tell someone Happy Birthday, do I REALLY consider them a “friend?”

4) Have I considered letting them go before? Does things they say or post frustrate, annoy, or bother me? Even unfollowing someone, my mind knows they are still there, and it can wear on me.

5) Do they share any of the passions and values I share? Do they treat others with love and respect, even if views differ?

6) How do they talk about their children? This is a BIG one for me lately. I cannot stand the things I see some mothers say about their children. Name calling. Constantly complaining about them. Negative talk about them. Calling them things such as little shits or nasty or whatnot. Yes, children frustrate us sometimes. They are draining. They are still a blessing. I cannot see Christ calling the children who came to Him that, or constantly complaining about them. Can you?

7) The Bible says to guard our hearts. Part of doing that is making sure all we do brings glory to Him. Sometimes, in order to do this, we need to clean out the clutter in our lives. That means letting certain relationships, or things, go.

8) We are to please God, NOT man. If we are worrying what someone will think of us if we unfriend them, that’s worrying what they think over God. Pray and listen. God will direct us in the way you should go, and this includes relationships.

9) Real love doesn’t act out of insecurity. If you are worrying too much about what someone would think of you for letting them go (when you know it really IS the best thing to do), that isn’t love. If it isn’t love, it isn’t true friendship.

10) Clearing out social networking will make me focus more on the here and now. Enjoy the little moments. The people around me in my community. My children. My husband. My neighbors. My family.

My God.

Do you need to do some social network de-cluttering?



Emily Who?

I have been thinking alot lately. I have been crying alot lately. In fact, just tonight I totally overreacted to a messed up baby nap which resulted in a not happy, screaming baby. It is frustrating? Sure. Was it worth me getting so emotional over? Nope. Now, there is the truth that Simon is generally kinda fussy, doesn’t always eat the greatest and has colic… so that, I am sure, increased the chances of my reaction being a tad bit out of hand. If I took a breath I would remember that the nap issues and fussy times at eating occasionally all probably are due to the fact he is colicky. And when I say colic, I am not joking. LOL.

tardisHowever, still. He won’t always be this way, and I can always choose my reactions. I don’t need to have a crying fight with my husband over the fact my baby won’t nap. Sigh. Definitely not a good example for the children. Double sigh.

Sometimes I think I need “The Doctor” (Yes, I am obsessed with Dr. Who. It is my happy place. LOL) to take me in the T.A.R.D.I.S., take me back in time so I can see how I am actually acting. That may make me cry even more though, and I am sure there would be lots (and lots… and lots) of sighing. HAHA. And probably some shame and embarrassment too.

I am currently sitting here in my bedroom, watching Dr. Who, having a glass of wine, while Andrew has the kids out. He took them after my temper tantrum. He took a bottle too (for Simon, not for himself, thought after my insane hissy fit, I wouldn’t blame him for taking one for himself either. Perhaps I can be his beer wench later 😛 LOL) so I wouldn’t have to see Simon’s insane reaction to the bottle. LOL. To verify, no, I don’t think he has terrible reflux (its a mom gut feeling I have) and yes, he is on the right food. No, I am not breastfeeding, don’t ask, and I don’t care if you judge me. I think it is a phase thing, and all due to colic and the fact the poor bub isn’t sleeping enough….

Anyhoo, before this post gets too long… as I am sitting here hearing the deep theological discussions from “the doctor”, lol, I am contemplating some things…

Sometimes, I feel unhappy. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes, I feel like I will drown. No, I am 99.9% sure I do NOT have PPD. I have always been this way. I have always struggled off and on with stuff like this. I am not depressed, just to make it clear. It is more of a “who am I and what am I supposed to be doing” kind of thing. Tonight, I cried out to God, and I realized something.

I am not being myself. I am not being honest with myself. I do not always tell people what I really feel, really think, or really believe about a situation. If I am honest, I am not always doing the greatest and telling people THE TRUTH about a situation either, and by TRUTH, I mean THE truth, ya know, the Bible? WWJD? God type stuff.

I mean really. It is exhausting trying to be someone you are not. It is exhausting trying to please people rather than God. EX.HAUS.TING. I need to stop this crap. I am not saying I never tell people the truth or stand for truth. I am not saying I never speak my mind. Andrew will tell you I do pretty fine at it, haha! Sorry honey!

What I mean, is sometimes, I am just TOO. DANG. WORRIED. about what others think that I clam up. I keep quiet. Keeping quiet can be just as deadly… to my mood, my soul, my personality, and to Emily as a person, the person Christ made her to be.

I am sure that in being myself, some of what I say/write will make some people ticked off. It will make some people “unfriend” me. It may even make some people think I am a meanie poo poo head, but ya know what?

I. Don’t. Care.

dalekIn the words of the Daleks, I need to say EXTERMINATE to my people pleasing “skills.” This may also mean saying, in my most awesome Dalek voice, of course, “Exterminate” to some friendships/acquaintances/etc etc etc… I also think I need to say exterminate to this current set of contacts in my eyeballs, but that is another post for another day…

The first step I need to accomplish is… less tantrums over tantruming children 😉