Hope

1015OH.

MY.

GAW.

Can you believe it is already 2015!???! Insanity. Pure insanity. I feel like 2014 went both fast and slow at the same time. Have you ever felt that way? There were certain parts that I thought for sure would never end (like having a colicky baby haha) or a whiny 3 year old (well now she can be a whiny 4 year old 😉 but hey, she isn’t 3 anymore! HA!) but then there are parts that seemed to fly by in the blink of an eye, like the super cute 8 month baby stage that I so love, or half of my oldest daughter’s first year of Kindergarten (say what!?) or Christmas (which I am kinda sad about because this year it didn’t ever fully FEEL like Christmas, which is not normal for me).

I hope that all of you had a fabulous Christmas and holiday season with your family. I hope that your children had a good break. Are you happy or sad they are back in school? Or yes to both? HA! 😛

oneI have heard a lot of things over the last few years that instead of making a whole list of new years resolutions, that, let’s be honest, we won’t follow anyway… choose ONE. WORD. to symbolize how you want your year to be. How you want to change. How you want to grow. How you want to live.

What will YOUR one word be? Have you thought about it? What word would you choose that can encompass EVERY.SINGLE.THING. you hope to achieve, accomplish, or do in this year?

I had 2 that I was going back and forth between.

JOY & HOPE

Choosing Joy is something we must actively pursue in order to fulfill anything else in life really. We must CHOOSE to be joyful regardless of circumstances. It is the only true secret to contentment.

“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.” Philippians 4:11

However, I think HOPE is an even MORE all encompassing word. It is through HOPE in Christ that we can have JOY in the first place. 

“The hope of the righteous brings joy…” Proverbs 10:28

Hope is what holds us together when everything is crashing around us.
Hope is what binds people together that may be struggling
Hope is what allows us to trust in our Father even when we don’t understand
Hope is what allows us to have joy
Hope is the catalyst for SO. MANY. THINGS.

We can survive a lot IF we have Hope.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul” Hebrews 6:19

And if you are a child of God, you ALWAYS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. have Hope. Always. No matter what your circumstances. No matter what you are going through. No matter what you are feeling. No matter what you have done. No matter what consequences you may be suffering because of sins. NO. MATTER. WHAT.

Hope is what allowed Jesus’ disciples to be willing to die for their faith. Hope of MORE. Hope of eternal life. Hope that this life on THIS earth is not the end all. It isn’t our real home. Hope that we are made for greatness. Hope that God can, does, and WILL work all things for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28)

My focus passage for this year will be Romans 12:12

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” This passage sums up the word perfectly to me. We can rejoice in all circumstances, if we have hope, even IN tribulations. It is that hope which allows us to trust God and be patient THROUGH those times of tribulation. Constant in prayer is what will allow us the proper focus to remember where our hope lies. It is through constant conversation with God, which is what prayer is, that our minds can stay focused on Him. Focused on Hope. And that Hope will lead to SO. MUCH. MORE.

So this is my one word: HOPE

because with Hope, you can change everything

Hope-593x348

On aches, twinges, and Christ

The following was something I posted on Facebook… but the more I got thinking, the more I felt I should also share here.

I hope it helps and encourages someone today ❤

Knowing-when-your-family-is-completeI know I have been super crazy (blog friends, just read THIS TOO haha), back and forth, schizo mama about having more babies. I know I have probably annoyed quite a few people (especially my poor hubs haha). I am sorry for that. I wanted to share tonight how God has spoken to me, given me peace, and that I just feel content. Complete… It may be a little long, so bear with me 🙂

Andrew and I had a wonderful talk last night. He said something to me that God REALLY used to help me. No matter how many babies we had, I would miss certain ages and stages. It is OK to feel complete with our family, yet simultaneously feeling sad certain stages are passing and just because I am sad that my babies are growing up is not a sign that I HAVE to have more. (does that make ANY sense!? HA) I can also be both sad at passing stages yet be excited for new ones to come.

I was planning on writing a blog about some of the extreme views in Christianity that I have struggled with. One of those is the “continuing to have babies” (and if God has called you to this and this is YOUR conviction, PLEASE obey. Anything less would be disobedience). I was going to write how the number of babies you have doesn’t equate to how good of a Christian you are. More kids does not mean more love from God. More kids doesn’t mean one is a better Christian than those with fewer. They are just a Christian family with less (or more) kids.

Well, thinking on this last night, God seriously threw an explosive slap on the head… He spoke (quite loudly) to my heart — “Emily, how can you write that when you don’t even believe it yourself?” (OUCH) ***hanging head in shame***

God is right (isn’t He always? HAHA)

I have been seeing SO many people having their 4th (or 5th… or 6th… or 8th! HAHA) babies that I love bunches and bunches, and look up to, that mix that with the feeling sad on certain stages being over, and it is almost like I felt I *HAD* to have another baby to be a “good enough Christian.” Dumb, right?!

I was comparing myself. I was basing my worth and value in Christ, and how much God loved me, on whether not I had more babies.

I am a person who is completely head over HEELS in love with being a mother. I would not trade the puke filled bedding or 3 AM wake up calls for ANYTHING (though I do hate puke and I do love sleep LOL). It is my JOB, and I (at least I hope HA!) am DANG good at it (though I suck with babies hahaha) I am a person, who no matter my age, will probably ALWAYS get that baby itch around a certain time. That ache, in a way (which I know is normal. Even mothers WAAAAAY past the kid phase feel that twinge sometimes.

I also LOVE loving on others around me. I love being the light of Christ to those around me. We moved here to BE that. We moved here because we know the Lord called us here. I love that we are being able to minister and love on the kids around here. I know that if we had more babies, I would hide away, struggle with PPD (not to mention pre term births, nicu babies, colic babies, back issues etc, that make pregnancy hard for me), and I would not be a very good light to others. My first and most important relationship is God. I feel so much peace that God is breathing into my soul. That I am NOT being selfish for realizing we are done. I am NOT being selfish for missing stages, yet not necessarily wanting to do them again. We have a CALLING here. An important one. One that I want to make Jesus proud with. I can admit, that I KNOW I would not do that if we were to have another. I think it, no, I KNOW, it would hinder our ministry. I almost feel *if* we were to have another, it would not be biological.

I LOVE helping in Katie’s (and soon to be Holly’s and Simon’s) school. I want to be able to do it more. A lot more. I love all the things I have been able to do with the kids now that they are older… and I don’t think it means I am selfish, or a bad Christian, because part of me is excited for that.

I want to make a difference for Christ here in Towson. I want to love others like Jesus SO HARD they don’t know what hit them, and they won’t be able to help but fall in love with this beautiful and amazing Savior. The Savior who extends grace so amazing it is almost scandalous! I want that. Desperately. And I think that desire is an important one to fulfill.

Anyway. Sorry this was so long. HA! I hope this made sense. I am just SO SO SO much at peace! I am SO beyond happy. I am joyful. I am content. I feel… complete ❤ Thank you for those who prayed. And congrats to all my friends popping out babies. Just message me ya’lls addresses and I will get my “buying baby clothes” fix through ya’ll 😉

XOXO!!! Love all you guys! Thanks for putting up with my crazy.

So there you have it 🙂 trust God. Listen to Him. Don’t compare yourself to others, for He has different plans and purposes for all of us.

Love. Laughter. and Littles
❤ XOXO Emily ❤

P.S. This is also a wonderful post. I read this awhile back and felt peace. I need to keep that peace.

together-we-make-a-family-family-quote

Struggles and faith

This world is not our home. This world has bad things that happen. EVERY. DAY. This world brings pain, sorrow, heartache, bad days, struggles, hardships, death, sickness… We ALL will encounter hard times. No one is “Christian” enough to be able to go through life without them. Those who think you can simply “have more faith” or “pray more” and your sorrows, struggles, or pain will be gone, remember, that attitude is NOT biblical. The Bible says:

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

tumblr_makgbl7ALt1qhmhdfo1_500There are countless people throughout the Bible who encountered hardships. Joseph was betrayed by his BROTHERS! They wanted to murder him, instead, they beat him up and threw him in a pit. Joseph loved the Lord God with all his heart. What about Job? He lost EVERYTHING. God allowed it. He had a reason for it. Job remained faithful throughout his struggles. He never gave up on God. In fact God says in the book of Job:  In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.”  What about the Israelites? They suffered. A LOT. at the hand of a Pharaoh who hated God. You can read the Bible and find plenty more examples. Jesus Christ himself suffered, and ultimately killed (and we all know he had plenty of faith. He WAS God. He was PERFECT). Disciples were imprisoned, tortured, and even killed for what they believed. And it sure was not because they didn’t “have enough faith”

Look at Mary! She had what happened to her BECAUSE of her faith. Can you imagine how she must have felt!? She was most likely shunned by family and friends because people thought she had a child of out wedlock. At first Joseph, whom she was engaged to, thought she was sleeping around. She was forced to leave where she grew up, and probably never saw her family again. She surely did not have her people question her and treat her like trash because she had a lack of faith. Completely the opposite.

The Lord did not necessarily stop these for His children simply because the person had more faith, but he DID bring the person hope and God used it for His glory and for an amazing plan.

Things may not always make sense. Some things may not make sense this side of heaven, but know, if you are struggling, there is hope IN the struggle.

peaceful_beach_by_syntetyc-d3fyqyrWe can be full of faith, but we WILL still encounter hard times, and they won’t always stop by praying more. Don’t let someone make you think it means you don’t have enough faith, or you just don’t pray enough, or love God enough, or you sin too much (yes, sometimes we may have unrepentant sin, that is not what I mean here, plus we ALL sin. DAILY.) If you are sick, struggling with depression, loss of a job, financial strain, family member illness, loss of home, etc… please know God has not left you, and even if you do all you can to have more faith and you are STILL struggling, know that it is not because God thinks you don’t love Him enough. We will ALL go through hardships. Sometimes we may encounter struggles in order to bring us closer TO God and to grow our faith, not because we don’t DO enough for Him.

We may not understand the battles, but they serve a purpose greater than we can see. There IS a purpose. I promise. Have hope ❤

Those who have come out of a hardship, be that hope. Love on those who are in one now. Love them as you would want to be loved when you are having a hard time, are depressed, going through a trial or hardship. JUST. LOVE. THEM.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15

This life WILL bring hardship, but we CAN have hope even in the midst of them

❤ XOXO
~Emily

 

Depression is real. Spread the word.

My heart is broken for the William’s family. This country lost an amazing man. A genius.

I know of this pain all too well. When I was only 12 years old, my own father took his life. READ ABOUT IT HERE. He died the same way. We walked in to find him, lying on the couch with a plastic bag over his head. He too battled anxiety and depression. PLEASE if you feel these things, seek help. It does not make you weak. It makes you strong. I battled anxiety for many years, then horrible PPD after each child. I was afraid to seek help because of what many “Christians” said to me. Things like…”you just aren’t praying enough.” or “Jesus is all you need, you just don’t have enough faith.” or “Just give it to Him and stop worrying.” or “You don’t need meds. Depression is not real. It isn’t really a mental illness. It is a sin issue, so get right with God and you will feel better”. Horrible, right? Sometimes, we NEED intervention. Sometimes the way God works and gives us “miracles” and healing are through others. Through medical intervention when and if necessary. Through doctors. There is nothing wrong whatsoever with seeking help. Jesus wants us to have abundant lives in him. He doesn’t want us to battle depression, anxiety, and worry. My heart is broken for the William’s family Praying for them. I will mourn with them, for I know their pain. I have experienced it. Bring awareness to depression. IT. IS. REAL. Just like any other part of our body can break down, go haywire, need intervention to get us healthy… so can our brain. Our brain is an organ. And sometimes that organ needs special attention, and there should be NO SHAME in seeking that help.

Robin Williams will be so missed. I can only pray that due to the tragic death of this beloved American actor, that depression and mental illness will be recognized as REAL diseases and that it will finally be treated as such. I can only pray that SOME awareness and hope can be brought from this tragedy. Seek help. Don’t be afraid. Reach out. Cry out. Don’t lose hope. Don’t give up. Don’t quit the battle. Don’t make a decision that will end your life and bring pain and despair to those who truly love you. I promise, there is hope.

There is ALWAYS hope. I found that hope… and so can you ❤

Depression IS real. Spread the word. William’s family, you are in my thoughts, my heart, and my prayers.

10547667_751190074952369_6093308227928486389_nSome GOOD links on depression. THESE are what the world needs more of. We need more people who feel, think, and love as this:

http://perrynoble.com/blog/should-christians-take-medication-for-mental-illness

http://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2014/aug/12/robin-williams-suicide-and-depression-are-not-selfish?CMP=fb_gu

http://www.sortacrunchy.net/sortacrunchy/2014/08/the-depressed-christian-why-the-dark-night-is-no-measure-of-your-soul-.html

 http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/08/what-the-church-christians-need-to-know-about-suicide-mental-health/

I am not always a good mom.

There.  I said it.

Honestly, though, sometimes it is true. Some days I feel like a bad mother most of the day. Facebook can make one even feel like MORE of a bad mother. I know that as much as I try to be honest and open, I don’t always share everything. Does anyone!? Social networking is amazing and does a lot of good, but I also think it can do a lot of damage to our already fragile mom self esteem.

Most of the time us moms answer the age old question of “How are you doing?” with the words fine, good, or great… when on the inside we couldn’t feel farther from those things. I am not saying we never feel those things, but sometimes I think we are scared to admit how we REALLY feel. We are scared to admit our struggles, weaknesses, and sins we have in parenting that keep us from being a GREAT mom. We are afraid if we say it out loud people will shun us, hate us, think bad things about us, etc etc etc.

However, if we DON’T speak up. If we don’t find someone we can trust, who we CAN confront all our deep dark mommy secrets to, how are we supposed to overcome them? How can we heal? How can we become the better mom that all of us desire to be?

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16

So. You know what? I know SO many of you think I am a good mom. I know I have the potential TO be one. Through Christ of course… but I do not always live up to it.

I get WAY to easily angered. I snap too much. I have spanked in anger. I have even yelled PLEASE SHUT UP to my screaming baby 😦 I am way too emotional and I let those emotions control me. When I let my emotions control me I overreact, over exaggerate, yell too much, cry too much, do everything too much.

When I let my emotions control me I live in the here and now. I focus on the negative. I forget that it is a season. I forget that His mercies are new every morning. I forget that I have people on my side who love me. I forget I have a God bigger than my bad days. I let my crying/fussy/screaming baby make me angry, which leads to me feeling resentment that something so tiny is so demanding.

This leads me to question all that I know is true: That I love my children and I love being a mother.

This is all bad. VERY. VERY. BAD.

I have a feeling, at least I hope so, that other moms do this same thing. We end the day so many times looking back at how we acted, reacted, talked, yelled, said, didn’t say, etc etc etc and we are full of regret, remorse, guilt and frustration. Sometimes, we may even feel hopeless.

More days than not lately, I end the day with many of these feelings. I wonder what in the world is wrong with me that certain things bug me so much, why I cannot just relax, go with the flow more often. I lose hope in myself.

There is one big problem with this thinking though.

God hasn’t lost hope in me. He never will. He will never leave or forsake me. HE believes in me. He knows with him I can be a good mom.

Maybe it’s time I start believing it myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Take a big long breath of REALITY CHECK!

I ran across THIS video on Facebook:

Click here and WATCH. THE. VIDEO. Really. It is a freaking minute long, surely you have the time to take a minute and watch something, right?

“First world problems are not problems” — this really puts things into perspective. The same could be said about complaining you “need” a bigger house, each child “needs” their own bedroom, you “need” a bigger tv or better computer, you “need” more bathrooms because sharing with 5 people is just TOO HARD, complaining about traffic or other car problems or travelling problems, when we are blessed to have a CAR and not have to walk everywhere etc etc etc… the list goes on and on. Seriously people. Think about it. This brought tears to my eyes. How freakin’ spoiled we are, how much MORE we have than most ANY other country in the world, yet we STILL complain… Really!?!? Wow. Whoa. just Whoa. REALITY people. Reality check. Serious reality check…

gratitude

If you want to know more in depth of how I feel. READ THIS BLOG I wrote from awhile ago.

This made me have a reality check too. I was complaining and whining the other day that I was bored and want cable back. I am not saying it is WRONG to have cable, but we need to be more aware of how BLESSED we are that we can even have the luxury of choosing if we HAVE it or not. The same applies to any other blessings we have, they are not wrong/bad in an of themselves, but the attitude we have toward them can be. We need to remember to have a heart of gratitude for all we DO have, rather than grumbling over what we don’t have.

I am sure I will have to remind myself how blessed I really am. Yes I have had preemies. Yes I had 2 of those preemies have to stay in the NICU. One of them had to be brought home on a heart monitor. All of my children had colic and I thought I may go insane from the screaming. I shared how the baby phase is hard for me and I am not really a “Baby person” sometimes (when really I am just complaining, if I am honest, woe is me attitude. Shame on me).. but ya know what?

At least my children are healthy, and if they DO get sick, and when they WERE early and couldn’t breath well, I was blessed enough to live here to get them the care they needed. Praise the Lord! Thank you Father.

None of that is as bad as what some others face throughout the world. Disease with no hope of a cure. Dirty water. Dirty food. No doctors. No clean hospitals. Not enough food. Some children are most likely born early, as mine were, and died because they were not blessed enough to have the NICU care that we have in America. Even some in America do not have this luxury.

SHAME on me.

Shame on us.

SHAME. ON. US.

This Christmas, let’s not focus on what we want, or what we think we “need” – We are blessed just to have a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes on our back, running water, indoor plumbing, heat, etc etc etc.

All that we have is a blessing. ALL. OF. IT.  And guess what? It isn’t ours. It all comes from God. The same God who gave us the best gift of all. The greatest blessing of all. His only son. Jesus. To be our Savior. We need to be the hands and feet of that Jesus wherever we are. Wherever God calls us.

WE. ARE. BLESSED.

Let’s remember that, stop complaining, and start doing MORE for those around us in need.

Love like Jesus.

December 16th.

Today is a day that is truly hard for me. It has been 20 years, but yet, every year when today comes, I am flooded with emotions. Today is the anniversary of my daddy’s death.

If you want to know about my daddy and my experience with his death, READ HERE. My daddy’s death was hard, unexpected and cause us to feel anger, sadness, and shock all at one time. You see? My father CHOSE to die. He took his own life. Even though it has been 20 years this year, it is still hard. I think it may be harder now than before. I am married, have three amazing children, and a beautiful, loving husband. I wish desperately that my daddy could meet my family. He would have been am amazing granddaddy.

I woke up today feeling kinda low. Simon was super cranky, not eating great, and on top of feeling sad and missing my daddy, it just felt like too much. I felt like a terrible mother… ya know, since nothing I did made my baby happy.

I think the Lord knows when we need a little boost of encouragement. No, I don’t THINK. I KNOW the Lord does. I got that little boost today.

Simon took a wonderful morning nap, which was a blessing in and of itself! Well he got up pretty happy. He was super distracted eating, so that was NOT fun trying to feed a distracted baby his bottle, LOL. That was a super fun experience. And by super fun, I mean, totally annoying. HAHA.

Well, after he ate I could NOT for the LIFE of me get the poor bub to burp, so I laid him on his stomach. Well I put him down and he rolled over!!! First time 🙂 He had been working on it awhile, but there he was lying on his back, giggling and giving me a SUPER big grin. He was pretty proud of himself. I put him on his belly again, thinking it was a fluke, and he did it again! He did it many times in a row. Now, of course, he probably won’t ever do it again 😉 HAHA.

Anyway, as silly it sounds, that was such a blessing to me. It really made my day. I have already admitted to the fact that the baby stage is hard for me. This gave me a little whisper reminder that he is growing, he is getting closer to being able to do more, play more, and be able to play with his sisters.

Little blessings sometimes make the biggest difference 🙂 Thank you Lord!!

 

 

 

 

 

Worn: phase 2

Before Simon was born, I wrote THIS BLOG: Worn

I commented on a friends status who was feeling weary and worn at the time because her daughter was still not sleeping through the night. She questioned if Tenth Avenue North wrote the song Worn for those who have babies who won’t sleep through the night…

In case you are wondering:

Yes. I actually believe they DID write (from what I have read/heard. Perhaps they could comment and verify 😉 ) the song during a phase of the children not sleeping through the night. Cool huh? Well not cool that their kids were not sleeping through the night, but it’s nice to know that “famous people” get it, ya know? We are not in this alone! People really DO get how tiring parenthood is, or your work, or being a grandparent who watches the kids, etc etc etc.

Today, I was thinking through that song. I picked up my journal and my pen and began to write. I began to write OTHER reasons that we tend to feel weary and worn, that may or may not have anything to do with our children.

We become WORN when we worry over things we need to give to God. This makes our minds WEARY.

We become WORN when we worry too much what others think over what God thinks, and this makes our emotional soul WEARY.

We become WORN when we waste energy on things that don’t matter. This makes our entire body WEARY.

We are WORN because we are trying to do things on our own, relying on our own strength rather than God’s. Yeah. This makes us WEARY.

We become WORN, anxious and depressed when we compare ourselves to others. When we compare what we have to what others have. When we compare OUR children to other’s children. When we wish we had THEIR experience rather than embracing our own. This makes our hearts WEARY.

wearyThere are SO. MANY. THINGS. that can make us feel weary and worn. Like BILLIONS. Probably GAJILLIONS. Probably endless,infinite things that can make our earthly bodies weary and worn. Jesus himself understood these feelings. He became human.

He. Understands.

There is only ONE remedy for feeling weary and worn. There is only ONE who can take all of our burdens, even in the midst of utter weariness and help us gather the strength to keep going. There is only ONE who can help make our weary days seem worthwhile and help us know that through that ONE person, we can make it.

God.

I think many times we think about being weary and worn as a physical tiredness, when it really can be so many different things. Some of these things we may not be able to help. We can’t always help if our child isn’t sleeping well, so we are physically tired, but we CAN help it if we spend even more energy that we don’t have on worrying about it, wishing away the time, or continuing to wonder when they will.  We cannot help if our baby had colic or we don’t make what we think we should make at our job or where God calls us or hardships and struggles we encounter, or, etc etc etc (I am preaching to myself here too mama’s! HA)

Motherhood (and life!) can be tiring enough, let’s hang onto the energy we DO have by giving over to God the things we have no control over.

Go do something not related to babies.

This was the “command” my darling husband told me tonight as he patted my knee, told me to go upstairs and rest, and whispered I love you. 

You see I had been crying. I do that. A. Lot. Especially in the first 6 months of my children’s lives. 

I told him I didn’t like myself.

I told him feel like a crappy mother.

I told him I feel like God made a mistake and I have no idea what I am doing

My darling prince charming sat there quietly, his eyes focused on mine, his hand on my knee. Just listening. 

My poor husband has to hear me cry over the same “spilled milk” stories multiple times a week day. Patience is a virtue that I am glad at least ONE of us have. Sigh.

My sweet husband reminds me each and every time I have these motherhood hormonal crying spells that:

The reason I think these things is because I think about them. TOO. MUCH.

Yup. That is truth right there. The more you think about something, the more you, well, think about it. You become addicted to the thought. It becomes harder and harder to put out of your mind. You dwell on it and it becomes harder to stifle the negative thoughts and lies that the enemy so enjoys putting in your pretty little head (well, if I am honest, my head isn’t so pretty when it is thinking trash like that).

We should think good thing. TRUE things. NOBLE things. Not trash or lies. And negative self talk, tearing yourself down counts as trash. In fact, I think WE are our own worst enemies. We can often times tear ourselves down more with our own negative thinking than our worst enemies spewing hateful curse words at us.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9

The old saying… Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me… is a lie. Complete lie. Many times words can hurt more. OUR words to ourselves can oftentimes hurt the worst!

All those verses about the tongue? Yeah. I think they apply to how we talk to OURSELVES too. Not just to one another.

So. Put aside the negative self talk. Mama’s go do something not related to babies, as my husband said. Those who are not yet mothers, go think on something NOT work related or whatever else you spend the majority of day thinking on. 

Think on GOOD things. TRUE things. God’s things. God’s truth.

It will do ALL of us good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

it isn’t pie.

Being a mother isn’t easy as pie some days. It isn’t a piece of cake. It isn’t a walk in the park… or any other cheesy slogan. We don’t sit around and eat bon bons all day while watching our babies happily coo at us, while we joyfully fold the clothes in between bon bon bites. No.

Some days we forget the laundry in the washer, some days the baby is screaming at us, the toddler is coloring on the walls, the preschooler is mad at you for not letting her eat a 4th cookie, and some days we wish we had some pie or cake to eat while we hide in a closet to get 5 minutes of peace.

Sometimes motherhood is HARD

Some days royally stink.

Sometimes we feel overwhelmed and think we can’t make it another second. Sometimes, we think that if the kids yell one more time, or the baby pukes on you yet again, or won’t nap, or the toddler is in the markers, AGAIN… that we really may lose our minds… And you know what?

IT. IS. OK.

It really is OK that is stinks sometimes. It is ok to admit that it is hard. It is!

I know I have written on this before, but each new addition our family has had, I have to remind myself of this truth. I have to remind myself that even though some days are HARD, they are WORTH it. We need to focus on the positives. It WILL get better and you don’t have to LOOOOOOVE every aspect of motherhood in order to love being a mother.

It also doesn’t mean we don’t realize we are blessed. We know we are blessed. We know we are SO SO blessed to have the children we do, but that doesn’t mean it still isn’t hard sometimes. It is OK to admit it is hard.

I am currently sitting in my bedroom with earphones on, the box fan on high, watching a cheesy romantic Christmas movie (that I have seen before haha) and drinking a glass of red wine because it was one of “those” days.

Do I love my children? Yup. My family feels so much more complete with the addition of Simon… but that doesn’t negate that the first 5-6 months are hard for me or that some days I don’t feel completely overwhelmed with having three little people to take care of.

Three mouths to feed. 30 fingers to clean. 30 toes to trim. Three little people to calm when they get upset. Sometimes it feel like TOO much…

But you know what? I don’t think it makes me a bad mother. I think the only thing that makes me a “bad mother” is the self doubt, negative talk, listening to the lies and the guilt trips that us mothers like to listen to.

We yelled today? We STINK!
We didn’t make a home cooked meal? WOW, you are NOT a good mom
You let the baby CRY for 10 min while finishing folding the laundry? How DARE you!? Don’t you know it causes brain damage!?
You let your children watch ANOTHER movie? You really should stop doing that, you will cause ADD

And on. and on. and on.

WHY do we do this to ourselves mama’s?!

That is not what the Lord would want for us. We know this. I also believe, truly believe, that He does not want us hiding and stuffing the bad days away, faking it in front of others so we look like the “perfect mother”

I think the Lord wants us to share in our struggles so that we can encourage one another, speak truth to one another, pray for one another. The Bible says we need to share in joy AND in sorrow. Some days in motherhood are hard. We cannot make this journey alone. We were never meant to. We were made for fellowship, support, love, and encouragement.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

So mama’s. Let’s stop the negative, self sabotaging talk we do to ourselves and share with each other. Share your struggles. Share your weaknesses. Let’s help each other THROUGH the bad days. Let’s help each other focus on the positives so that the hard days don’t seem so hard.

Motherhood won’t always be easy. Every day won’t always be the “best day ever”, but I believe when we are open and honest with each other, supporting each other, praying for one another, encouraging one another, that “those” days will become less and less, and the good days and the days we realize, through Christ, we CAN make it, will become more and more common!

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11