Today is a day that is truly hard for me. It has been 20 years, but yet, every year when today comes, I am flooded with emotions. Today is the anniversary of my daddy’s death.
If you want to know about my daddy and my experience with his death, READ HERE. My daddy’s death was hard, unexpected and cause us to feel anger, sadness, and shock all at one time. You see? My father CHOSE to die. He took his own life. Even though it has been 20 years this year, it is still hard. I think it may be harder now than before. I am married, have three amazing children, and a beautiful, loving husband. I wish desperately that my daddy could meet my family. He would have been am amazing granddaddy.
I woke up today feeling kinda low. Simon was super cranky, not eating great, and on top of feeling sad and missing my daddy, it just felt like too much. I felt like a terrible mother… ya know, since nothing I did made my baby happy.
I think the Lord knows when we need a little boost of encouragement. No, I don’t THINK. I KNOW the Lord does. I got that little boost today.
Simon took a wonderful morning nap, which was a blessing in and of itself! Well he got up pretty happy. He was super distracted eating, so that was NOT fun trying to feed a distracted baby his bottle, LOL. That was a super fun experience. And by super fun, I mean, totally annoying. HAHA.
Well, after he ate I could NOT for the LIFE of me get the poor bub to burp, so I laid him on his stomach. Well I put him down and he rolled over!!! First time 🙂 He had been working on it awhile, but there he was lying on his back, giggling and giving me a SUPER big grin. He was pretty proud of himself. I put him on his belly again, thinking it was a fluke, and he did it again! He did it many times in a row. Now, of course, he probably won’t ever do it again 😉 HAHA.
Anyway, as silly it sounds, that was such a blessing to me. It really made my day. I have already admitted to the fact that the baby stage is hard for me. This gave me a little whisper reminder that he is growing, he is getting closer to being able to do more, play more, and be able to play with his sisters.
Little blessings sometimes make the biggest difference 🙂 Thank you Lord!!