This was the “command” my darling husband told me tonight as he patted my knee, told me to go upstairs and rest, and whispered I love you.
You see I had been crying. I do that. A. Lot. Especially in the first 6 months of my children’s lives.
I told him I didn’t like myself.
I told him feel like a crappy mother.
I told him I feel like God made a mistake and I have no idea what I am doing
My darling prince charming sat there quietly, his eyes focused on mine, his hand on my knee. Just listening.
My poor husband has to hear me cry over the same “spilled milk” stories multiple times a
week day. Patience is a virtue that I am glad at least ONE of us have. Sigh.
My sweet husband reminds me each and every time I have these motherhood hormonal crying spells that:
The reason I think these things is because I think about them. TOO. MUCH.
Yup. That is truth right there. The more you think about something, the more you, well, think about it. You become addicted to the thought. It becomes harder and harder to put out of your mind. You dwell on it and it becomes harder to stifle the negative thoughts and lies that the enemy so enjoys putting in your pretty little head (well, if I am honest, my head isn’t so pretty when it is thinking trash like that).
We should think good thing. TRUE things. NOBLE things. Not trash or lies. And negative self talk, tearing yourself down counts as trash. In fact, I think WE are our own worst enemies. We can often times tear ourselves down more with our own negative thinking than our worst enemies spewing hateful curse words at us.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9
The old saying… Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me… is a lie. Complete lie. Many times words can hurt more. OUR words to ourselves can oftentimes hurt the worst!
All those verses about the tongue? Yeah. I think they apply to how we talk to OURSELVES too. Not just to one another.
So. Put aside the negative self talk. Mama’s go do something not related to babies, as my husband said. Those who are not yet mothers, go think on something NOT work related or whatever else you spend the majority of day thinking on.
Think on GOOD things. TRUE things. God’s things. God’s truth.
It will do ALL of us good.