Excuse this over 35 week pregnant woman while I whine worse than a 2 year old who didn’t get the Hello Kitty shoes they wanted. Well, maybe not THAT bad. A 2 year old may throw themselves on the floor, flailing about like a fish out of water… and frankly, I just don’t have the energy to flail, as much as I would like to.
OH. MY. WORD. This pregnancy is seriously kicking my BUTT. This has been BY FAR the worst pregnancy to date, and I threw up 4-5 times a day with Holly for the first 18 weeks. Yes. I may not have puked alot this time, but this pregnancy is alot harder. Thank the Lord I don’t have that SPD pain. I REALLY believe that everyone’s prayers healed it. I was seriously unable to sit, stand, lay, sleep, or move in ANY way without EXCRUCIATING pain. It felt as if someone was ripping my leg off my pelvis.
However, my emotions are a mess. I want to cry a river like every second of every day and most times I don’t even know why. My children are overwhelming me. The fact I can’t DO things with them overwhelms me (I don’t have the energy or strength. It hurts too much to move alot lol). Dust makes me want to cry like I just saw my dog get run over. Laundry sends me into hysterics. I am totally anti social lately and pretty much hate people and wish they would all just go away. HAHA. OR maybe I could just go away, that would be good too. LOL. Facebook lately is usually just annoying me and making me angry. I hate emails and want to disconnect my email. And yes, sometimes I have the urge to punch Andrew in the face (I am sorry sweetie, I don’t mean it! I promise!!!)
My legs are in CONSTANT state of discomfort. It isn’t excruciating pain, but it is enough that I am ALWAYS. UNCOMFORTABLE. Like that annoying fly you cannot get rid of no matter what you do. I am sure its the extra weight but I feel like I have the flu, you know that feeling you have in your legs that feels like you have been run over by a truck? Yea. That. LOL. My knees ache, my ankles ache, I feel like I have shin splints ALL. THE. TIME. and my feet constantly ache. No amount of rubbing my my sweet husband helps. BUT! I am not swollen. YAY ME! haha. Little dude keeps sitting on nerves that make me feel like I have those AWFUL side stitches you get after you run, that WILL. NOT. GO. AWAY. In fact, I am slumped over the keyboard now because I have one that hurts to badly I want to chew off my own tongue. Ok, well maybe not THAT bad… I also feel like I have been repeatedly punched and kicked in my lady parts. FUN. TIMES. I am tired of having to go up or down the stairs (there is no bath on the main floor in these older townhomes) to go pee every 30 min. I get out of breath over everything, and I can’t breath well as it is.
I wish I could have a BIG glass of wine and sit in the bathtub… but 1) I don’t think the amount of wine I would like would be acceptable (well, I haven’t really drank anything anyway) and 2) there is NO WAY in heck that once I sat down in the bathtub I would be able to get up. I would sit there for the remainder of the pregnancy I am sure peeing over myself. LOL.
And no. Chocolate, ice cream, and any other sweet treat that is terribly bad for you is cutting it. I don’t like TOO sweet things anyway. Sigh. I know, I know. I am completely weird and ridiculous.
I am 35 weeks and 1 day. I thought as the baby got bigger he had less space to move. Heh. Simon apparently didn’t get the memo. Oh yea, I forgot to write a blog on that. Sorry. His name is Simon. He moves like he is trying to punch holes in my stomach. Maybe he is trying to expand and attempting to tear down walls or something. Whatever he is doing. IT. HURTS… A LOT.
SOOOO yeah. I am sorry to be so whiny. I said when I started this blog I would be transparent. So there ya go. This pregnancy sucks. Yup. I said it. I want you others pregnant moms out there who also have a crappy pregnancy that I understand. It is ok to “hate” pregnancy. It is ok to not enjoy every second of it. It is ok to want to scream and punch people who ask you stupid questions or say things like “oh what a little miracle going on inside you” – Yes. It is. A WONDERFUL miracle, one for which amazes me and brings me to tears when I think about it. God is awesome. But you know what? It is OK to admit that it’s hard! It is! Hellooooo our bodies are growing a PERSON! We are carrying around a person! It’s no wonder we ache, cry randomly, can’t sleep, pee entirely too much, and sometimes think we won’t make it another day… GO ahead. Scream it. Yell to God. Cry out to Him. He knows. He understands.
Jesus experienced the WORST form of torture and pain because he loves us so much. He understands ladies. He gets it. Talk to him. You don’t have to be embarrassed to admit things are hard. You don’t have to be afraid that if you admit you hate pregnancy, or it is really rough on you that it somehow means you are not excited about the baby or thankful for the blessing of life. If someone accuses you of that, well go ahead, you have my permission to punch them 😉
As much discomfort as I am in, I want little Simon to stick around. I want him to grow and be healthy. I would like to bring him home with us, rather than having to leave in him the NICU like we did Holly. Prayers he stays put until after sept 2, and prayers for me that the Lord give me the strength to handle it. Honestly? I think the emotional side of things this pregnancy has been MUCH harder on me than the physical.
I am already SO in love with this little guy. Prayers for health, continued growth, protection from SIDS and all those other things moms worry about regardless of how many children you have.
I am so, desperately, exciting to meet him face to face… I just wish he would take it a LITTLE bit easier on this old woman until that day comes 😉