Cursing like a sailor

No. I am not the one who curses like a sailor. I admit, ok, a curse word slips out sometimes. Especially if I am emotional, or upset and speak in the heat of the moment. I am working on this. BUT, even still I do NOT curse like a sailor. My toddler does.

Now, before you go off on your rant…

Now Emily if your toddler is cursing she MUST be getting in from somewhere…”

And by “somewhere” you mean me. Go on admit it. That is what YOU people mean when you say comments like that. LOL. Anyway, before you go off on your judgmental tizzy hissy fit, let me explain.

Holly does NOT realize she is even cursing. It is accidental cursing. What is THAT you ask? It is when a toddler means to say one word, but it comes out as something else entirely. Mainly curse words. They like to say these fake curse words at the most inappropriate times in front of the most inappropriate people. Like at church, or in front of the pastor, or your mother, mother in law, or at some important event in front of people you brag to about how well behaved your awesome toddler is, and how they NEVER say anything wrong or bad or what not. Well, parents, that is just God right there having a laugh. Plain. AND. SIMPLE. LOL.

I have heard of some toddlers saying stick as “dick” or other words that come out as the D word the S word… but Holly, oh sweet Holly, says the MOTHER of all cuss words. This is a common thing with toddlers, so HOPEFULLY when she says this fake curse word, people will understand she is NOT calling them something foul, but rather complimenting their amazing vehicle or utensil of choice.

Yup. I am sure by now you know what I am referring to. The infamous F word for a truck, fork, frog, or anything else that could be said using the f bomb. Even better. A forklift could be called a “BIG F*** F***”! The most embarassing was when we were in the parking lot and Holly just kept screaming…

“BIG FU** BIG FU** BIG FU**!!!!” over, and over, and over… AND over. I really hope the poor people in the parking lot with their shorts too short didn’t get a complex.  Then again, perhaps they should, I really do not want to see your lady parts hanging out of the bottom of you so called shorts. REALLY!? YOU may as well just leave the house with no bottoms on at all! Anyway…

So, yup. Toddlers curse like sailors daily. They get away with it. Some people even think its cute, or funny, or something of the sort. Holly also like to say a frog says “WHIP IT ! WHIP IT! WHIP IT!”

LOL…

What are some funny “curse” words your toddler says?

 

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