Some of you may remember when I wrote the “tis the season” the first time about how people are impatient, rude, etc… around thanksgiving, christmas, etc… just holiday’s in general. Well, I think I should write abotu some of the positive sides of the season. At least for me. It may be the holiday season, or maybe its just a new season in my life, turning a new leaf, God opening a window, etc.. But these last few days have beeb an emotional rollar coaster for me, but once again, God is proving His faithfulness. As he always does.
“It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Dueteronomy 31:8
These words proved true for me more than usual these last few days. Saturday was a VERY hard day. I got an unexpected email from a lady who was life family to me saying she was backing away from me and cutting me out of her life. Those who know her told me it isnt’ out of the ordinary for her to behave this way, but it still hurt. Those who know me, know I was nothing but loving, caring and kind to her. She was like family to us – caring for Katie when Holly was in the NICU and were with her, she put Katie to bed, celebrated birthdays and holidays etc. Her email didn’t make much sense. I had many read it, to make sure I wasn’t missing something. Eveyone was confused and baffled and didnt’ understand. She said she cant be friends with us because we dont agree on stuff. no examples. Well, I have many friends I dont agree with on many things. Those differences only strengthen our friendship! Those differences challenge me to be a better person, and think on some of the things they talk about with me…. anyway, so not a good day….
I had been feeling more lonely lately and like i didnt fit in. Well, I prayed and decided to let it go. Let the relationship go. I prayed and prayed that if I had done something God would convict me. He never did. In fact, He gave me overwhelming peace that I had done nothing, and it had nothing to do with me. God used MANY MANY MANY friends from my past, all over the country in fact, to encoourage me, love me, give me kind, caring and sweet words. I know that was God using them to be an angel at the time I needed it. Thank you everyone. I love all of you.
Sunday, we had friends over for dinner, then more friends Monday. God was proving again, I really am NOT alone. We have people who care for us and want to hang out with us 🙂 So, it was WONDERFUL! We got invited to have Christmas dinner with some as well. I had many people randomly send me a card, email or message expressing they love me. God was proving his faithfulness.
So, readers…. if anyone has ever hurt you, or left your life unexpectedly and you are sitting beating yourself up over what happened. Don’t. Sometimes its just time. It’s just time to move on. MOST time it was nothing YOU/WE did. Don’t blame yourself. If you know there was something you did, apologize, be honest etc… but that is all you can do. Sometimes, we have to be willing to just let it go. I am not saying it won’t hurt. I am not saying it wont suck. I am not saying it wont be hard, or you won’t miss them, or it won’t sting. I am not even saying you won’t question yourself. You will. I did. I still play it over and over in my head sometimes, wondering if there was something I could have done differantly. BUT, its pointless.
If someone wants to leave, don’t beg them to stay, it will only make it worse, and if they do stay, they will probably do it again later, and probably make it hurt even more…. if someone wants to leave. let them go. let them be. YOU keep living.
I know I did nothing. I know the things she says she never talked to us about it HER issue. If she chose to NEVER express what she felt we didn’t agree on, that is nothing I did. Sometimes people dont give you a fair chance. It sucks, but its life.
Let Go. Give to God. Move on. Trust Him…. He won’t let you down. I know. I’ve been there. More times than you know…