I know it has been a long while since I have blogged. Since I cant really think of anything super awesome fabulous currently, I thought I would write a blog about what I struggle with. Hopefully it will encourage others out there and maybe you even struggle with some of the same things.
I love being a mother. I love seeing my kids learn and grow everyday. I am blessed and love having the change to stay home with them… BUT sometimes I DO struggle with feelings of isolation and lonliness. Yes, we have play dates, but its differant. It’s hard to explain. Right now I am struggling with this because Katie, my oldest, is a highly sensitive child. Lately, she has been crying for no apparant reason, or at least not one that I can figure out. It can be VERY challenging to feel that smoetimes the least little thing will set off your precious little girl, or that you will somehow say something that upsets her. I love her though, and it helps to remember that even though right now its hard, if we handle it right and work with her, she will grow up to become a truly loving and caring person 🙂 which I think is pretty cool!
Being a mother leads me to my second thing i struggle with…. self esteem and confidence. Hmm, I am pretty sure ALL women, mothers or not, struggle with this, and it seems to show itself differantly depending on what stage in life you are in. Mine usually centers around being a “good enough” wife or “good enough” mother. I know I shouldn’t struggle with this as much as I do, but I want to make sure my kids know I love them and treasure them EVEN if i get frustrated with them. However, i know apart from God we will NEVER be good enough. I know i have Christ with me, therefore THROUGH him, I CAN be the wife and mother He is calling me to be. So, I need to stop worrying because if ANYTHING will hinder the full potential I have to be a godly wife and mommy… its worry
WORRY. I struggle with worry. yup. pretty much sums that one up lol
So those are a few things I struggle with, and I guess it pretty much boils down to worrying about stuff or trying to control things I have no real control over. I can’t control the type of personality my kids have. I can work with them to reach their full potential, I can nuture their strengths and help them overcome their weaknesses, but I cant ultimately change who they are wired to be. I can do my best to follow God’s will as a wife and mother, but again, I cant change where we are in life really, what God has us going through. I can work towards becomming more like christ, and in doing so, will become a better mom and a better wife. So, I guess this Thanksgiving week i need to focus on the positive, focus on the things I can work on improving, and letting go of control of the things I raelly CANT change. Learn to deal. Learn to cope. Learn to love whatever God has for me in the right. now.