Yes, I am their mother and No, I did NOT have a C-section…

Ok, so most everytime I go out, this happens… People comment on how small I am, how young I look, and how it cannot be possible that the 2 girls I have with me at most ALL times can be mine. People seemed shocked, if I am not with my kids, that I, in fact, have 2 children. You know, when people have asked me before if they are mine, I have REALLY wanted to comment back some snide remark, but alas, I have not. I grin and bare it, laugh (even though in my head I am smacking them upside the head wondering how people can say such obsurd things) and shrug it off.  Next time I really should say. Actually! NO, these kids aren’t mine, I just found them on the side of the road and decided they would enjoy a nice leisurly stroll through our neigborhood Target (or whever i happen to be shopping that day). If it is walmart, I think the kids would be better off on the side of the road, as I HATE, I mean HATE, going into a walmart – especially OUR walmart. Its 2 stories of INSANITY, as if one story of walmart isn’t enough to make ones brain turn to mush and make you want to poke the eyeballs out of the workers who INSIST on clogging the isles with a bunch of junk. Ok… moving on…. So yes, next time I may just say that.

I mean, I guess I should take it as a compliment, but it REALLY can get a TAD bit annoying that people have asked what freaking HIGH school I go (ok people, really!? I do NOT look that young) or what I’m studying at the local university. I know, I know, I will like it when I am older, blah blah blah, but guess what!? I am older, I am 30! GASP!!! I have entered the twilight zone….doo doo doo doo, you know that wierd in between phase where you are too “old” to act like a moron in public, party till the sun comes up (yawn, I can barely make it to 11pm), wear jumpsuits (unless its orange, but thats a whole other blog), wear sunglasses inside, or wear pajama pants to walmart AND get away with these things – shoot! I just described Brittany spears.. CASE AND POINT!  BUUUUUT you are too young to wear granny panties (actually, I MAY have in fact worn these when pregnant), wear pants up to your boobs, blame not “hearing” your spouse on hard of hearing (unless you are my husband, who IS hard of hearing, on his right side, so usually if I want something I know he will say no to, I just make sure and ask him to his right ear, so I can be honest and say BUT I ASKED YOU! LOL kidding), play bingo at the local bingo hall as friday nights entertainment, or go to bed at 8 pm, though I have, in fact, done this also – MAN! having kids ages you 😛 lol…

Another favorite comment of mine is “Did you have to have a C section, I mean you are so small! How did they fit!?” OMG!!!! I dont even know where to START with this one. First of all you dont even know me and want to get up all in my “down there” bussiness. UMM. NEWSFLASH. NOT APPROPRIATE. Secondly, I am pretty sure my hoo ha is just as capable of any other womens to handle the BIRTHING PROCESS! I mean I AM still a woman and I was designed to GIVE BIRTH!!! I may be short, but that does NOT make my “area” incapable to stretch, etc. OK too much info.  But hey! I say they asked for it! Seriously! I mean, next time i think I may just proceed into the gory details of the whole thing! That’ll shut ’em up. LOL! Thirdly, I am small, thefore, my babies are ALSO apt to be on the smaller side. I ONLY have SO much room for a baby to grow! LOL. So people, watch out. If you see me and ASK me this, you better be prepared to get what you asked for, becuase I am going to start going INTO MAJOR DETAIL… YES I, in fact, gave birth, almost naturally, FROM DOWN THERE, people and NO, they were NOT cut from me, I in fact PUSHED them out! HEE HEE HOOOOO HEE HEE HOOOOO. Ok, I got a little carried away with that one.

Lastly, my FAVORITE, is both times I have been pregnant, people assume that I am about to give birth when I am only halfway done with the pregnany. They go on to tell me I got my due date wrong, the doctor got my due date wrong, so I better be ready. Oh, I am sorry, really? I am PRETTY sure I know my body BETTER than you. I can give you the exact day I conceived this little bundle of joy if that would just SHUT YOU UP! LOL!!!!  OR! people say, are you SURE there isnt’ twins in there!? YES I AM SURE! hmm I haven’t thought of a caddy remark for that yet, but I can guarantee you by next pregnancy, I will have thought of a darn good one. OR! They will say, WOW you have a BIG baby in there! then they go on to tell me and ask me if i will have to have a c section… again…. ugh. They comment on how I am gonna give birth to a 10 lbs baby etc. Well newsflash. BOTH babies were under 6 lbs. I look big because I ONLY HAVE SO MUCH ROOM IN HERE! HELLOOOOOO. I mean really, by the comments people make you would think I had a 20 lb baby in me that I am gonna give birth to like an alien. One day it’ll just explode from my stomach and leave bits and pieces all over for someone else to clean up. LOL.

OK, so this blog was kinda a rant… haha. Yes, i know I look young. Yes, I know I am short. I do NOT need reminders. THANK YOU 😉 I dont mind NICE coments about “WOW you look so great” or “Wow you are still in great shape after 2 kids” THOSE ARE NICE! But questioniong me like I am a crazy person who kills puppies for fun, is NOT cool. I am PRETTY sure I know these are my kids. I dont need you to ask me 20 questions about it, like you think I am lying. So, yup, next time, just gonna say, nope their not my kids! I just thought they were a free gift with purchase….LOL


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