to Eat or not to Eat

That is been the question we have been asking Holly since from the time she was born. I know that her “whole life” is not that long, but 6 months is a LOOOONG time for struggling with food issues. The thing is we went through this with Katie too, geez, you would THINK we woulda picked up on it sooner! See, with Katie she was NOT gaining with breastfeeding (I know know I dont produce). Therefore it was obvious there was a problem. Then, when she was on the first kind of formula, she puked, ALL THE TIME, again, obvious. However, with Holly, she has always gone through eating, not eating, eating, not eating. The first 2-3 months were hard because one formula cramped her up SO bad she was never sleeping. It was terrible. We then went to the next most broken down formula, senstive for those with lactose intolerence. That seemed to work……for awhile. However, even on that she would have days she would eat great, then periods where she honestly NEVER seemed hungry and didn’t want to eat at all. In the back of our minds, we always knew something was up, it was diagnosed reflux, but even the meds seemed to work for a period, then stop. It didnt seem to JUST be reflux, especially since she was happy on her back and slept well.  Well finally, this past week, Holly HAD IT. She totally refused to drink.  It was awful. Scary. Stressful. Confusing. See, shes been gaining GREAT, overall happy, though we have been having to “work with her” to get her to take the bottle for quite some time. She has NEVER been one to just sit down and eat the bottle. Well she started having more spits ups, some more like puke, VERY curdles, face rashes (since birth really off and on), and then her poop started acting wierd. This weekend when she refused the bottle totally, she PIGGED out on the veggies and fruit, so I knew she was hungry, but she was terrified of the bottle, and would clamp her mouth shut. It was wierd. Even after sleeping 10 hrs she did NOT want the bottle. she had NEVER done that. I even gave her the reflux med and tried again 20 min later. NOPE. nothing. Woudn’t eat. I knew it was NOT just reflux. We made an appt. Well, the poop convinced the pedi and pretty much signaled we are dealing with a digestive issues, NOT just reflux. She may still have reflux, we will just have to see. Milk allergy runs in the family. Andrew and all his siblings were on soy, Katie is sensitive, as well as me, neither of us can have too much or we break out, get gas and crampy, and cant sleep. SO DUH. Well, the thing that was SO hard was she was gaining!!!!! Also, we had always been able to get her to eat, so we thought, hmm its just reflux, and shes distracted. Well when she started refusing the bottle and fighting more and more even AFTER her reflux meds were upped, it comfirmed in my heart what I believe my intuition knew since birth. She has some sort of allergy to SOMETHING and it is NOT digesting. I think what has been happening all along was she ate normall for awhile, but it would build up in her system and wasn’t digesting correctly. When that started was when she would start NOT wanting to eat. Then shed finally get hungry enough to eat it, even though it upset her tummy, and the whole process started over. Poor thing 😦

SO, the game plan? Soy first, since it worked for andrews family. Hypoallergenic next. Dear Lord, I hope we dont have to use this. Its so expensive and we are already living check to check most times, plus it REALLY tastes like CRAP, so therefore I dont think shed eat that cause of the horrid taste! Third, we will probably have to go to a GI specialist. So, everyone please pray we dont have to take it that far. She has been doing OK with soy. You can tell she KNOWS its differant, but I think the poor thing is scared to drink and scared of the bottle. The pedi said babies are smart, she is older and more aware, thefore knew what was in the bottle was causing her pain, so she wised up and STOPPED all together…so it will take her a bit to trust it again.

So wow. You would think after a kid who already had feeding issues, we would know. TRUST YOUR MOMMY INSTINCT. TRUST YOUR GOD GIVEN INSTINCT! Andrew and I had a feeling it was an allergy all along, but kept running or listening to others and seeing that she was gaining, even though it was SO hard to feed her. Some days it would take 1 hour to get to 4 oz! It was insane. But, despite those red flags, we questioned ourselves. We have GOT to stop doing that. God gave us that instinct for a reason! we need to use it! 🙂 So, please be praying this will work!!! Now, I know some people are like totally against soy thinking its so awful and dangerous. WE have prayed and looked into things on our own. I promise. But, our family has decided it is best to try it for Holly. See if it works. Thankfully she is on solids and taking a little less formula anyway, and its only for 6 months. Andrew and his siblings all could have milk by a little after a year, it was just limited. Calcium was given to them in other sources, which is EXACTLY what we do for katie!

SO! any moms with allergy experience, advice, tips, experience would be welcome! Leave a comment. I  have read kids with dairy allergies can alot of times do yogurt still…is this true? If so, I can make sure she gets calcium that way. Katie LOVED that yo baby yogurt and did fine with it! Hopefully HOlly will too 🙂

 And just to let everyone know.  PLEASE KNOW…This is not meant to down people who helped me, or slap them in the face. I greatly appreciate it! It’s more about me doubting myself and my NEED to ask everyone their opinion in the first place, rather than trusting myself. Does this make sense? I know I need to work on this, and I am sorry if this made anyone feel that way or offended anyone. I learned in this to trust myself and what God is telling me, turn to Him first 🙂


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