Daddy, I miss you

Certain times of the year or periods in my life I really begin to miss people. It all of a sudden just hits me like a ton of bricks. There are several people in my life that have gone on to be with the Lord. For some reason, today, has been an especially hard one for me missing my dad.  My father died when I was only 12 years old. I am now 30. You would think it would get easier. To be honest, having children has made me miss him that much more. I miss his subtle laugh. I miss his crooked smile. I wish my girls could hear him play the piano. Wow, he was amazing at the piano. He is why I chose to take piano. I wanted to be just like my daddy.  So, even though so many many years have passed since his death, it really  hasn’t gotten any easier without him. I have learned how to live without him, but I shouldn’t have to. I wish I didn’t have to. I wish my 2 girls, and future kids, could know their grandpa. They won’t. Too bad. They would have loved him and I know he would have loved them just as much, if not more. Also, we have 2 girls. I have a sister. So having the same family structure (now anyway, we hope to add a 3rd child! 🙂 ) as my mom and dad when I was little makes it hard too. It makes me remember times with my mom, dad, and sister. The trips we took. The laughter we had. Christmases. Easters. Dedications. Baptisms. This past sunday, Easter, my 2 girls were dedicated at our church. I missed my dad then. My father was very active in ministry. He was a deacon. Things like that were so special and important to him. I wish I could have picked up the phone, called him, and told him how special it was. Katie, my 2.5 year old, understand more of what Easter means, what jesus did for her, for us, and WHY had to do it, then some adults. It is truly amazing. Her dinner prayer ALWAYS says “And thank you Jesus for dying for me and making my heart clean. cause it was dirty. Amen” I tear up almost everytime. So would have dad. I wish I could call him and tell him these special things.

Today was a BIG day for us as a family, and for Katie. We enrolled her in preschool. I dont know why, but this makes me miss my dad. Ugh. I wish I wasn’t such a softie sometimes, lol. It makes me remember when my mom had my sister and was in the hospital. My dad tried to fix my hair for me for school  with a curling iron and dress me. LOL! What a MESS I was. I went to school looking like a cowgirl that just got off a runaway train. haha. It was pretty hilarious. My dad tried. I didn’t care, I was just enamoured with my daddy 🙂 I am so glad I have these memories. I pray that my sweet girls will have memories like this with THEIR daddy. I pray he stays healthy and safe. I love you Andrew. What a wonderful father you are. I see so much of how my daddy was with me, in you. You are caring, kind, compassionate, loving, trustworthy, honest, but you teach right and wrong, discipline when necesary. Katie, and I know Holly will be too, looks up to you so much. She told me today she was going to marry Daddy 🙂

I know this is a personal blog. I know some of you out there have people you miss too. So. Daddy, I miss you. I love you and I take heart and peace in knowing I WILL see you again some day 🙂 Praise the Lord!

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