So, I am almost 22 weeks pregnant. I will be thursday. Wow. I know they say you show sooner with your next babies, but this is ridiculous! check it out. . .I mean when I was 7 months pregnant with Katie people were asking if i was due in a week! LOL! Umm at this rate people will be asking me next week! HAHA. Well, I love being pregnant. I am beginning to use my belly as a table, its awesome. I can’t wait until its big enough to prop Katie up on for some support when she says “Up up mommy!” or “Mommy hold me!” I wonder if Holly would mind? HAHA, or if Katie would get a swift kick in the rear! LOL! Currently, Holly is belly dancing. She is quite fiesty. She is also kicking pretty gosh darn hard for not even 22 weeks! Andrew felt it at 20 weeks and SAW her kicking a few days ago. It was pretty intense, lol. I love singing to her already, and I think she likes it. The other day I was relaxing and started singing to her and I could feel her move right up to the front of my belly and she started kicking. It was pretty awesome. It is so cool to me how they can HEAR in the womb already. They will recognize my voice and smell at birth. I read somewhere too that each newborn has their own smell too and a study blindfolded mothers and ALL of them correctly picked out their newborn based on smell alone. HOW “stinking” cool is that!? get it? stink? you SMELL something that stinks? HAHA. Ok so that wasn’t that funny, but hey. So, yes my belly is awfully big already, lol, my belly button is already an outie. I am not sure where it will go from here. LOL. It will just get more and more stretched out. I wonder what it will look like once I am done having children. Will it be like that song “do your ears hang low” except it will be my belly button. I dunno, its kinda already floppy. I have another version of that song too, hahahaha, but I won’t say it here. Its specifially for the ladies haha!!
I have decided (I will TRY anyway) with Holly I am not going to read books. I will wait for the pediatrician to ask me things and, THEN, I will answer them. I will only get concerned when HE voices concern. If the pediatrician doesn’t ask something, most likely a stupid and senseless question, that I am thinking about, then it obvisouly isn’t even worth asking in the first place, much less worry about! If it was REALLY a big deal, it would most likely be brought up at an appointment! Though, I should really implement this stratgey now. I would be much better off!! Though, I am going to be needing help with potty training. I am pretty sure I cant wing that, though I am sure I could and Katie would earn just the same. I highly doubt she will be going to college unable to use the bathroom. I mean geez, our parents didn’t have all the stinking books, much less THEIR parents, and we all turned out ok. I mean all these lists and milestone charts and comparisons only drive us to insanity. No, I KNOW it does. I am halfway there already. Some days I feel I am like christine from Phantom of the Opera, “past the point of no return,” Lord help me if I ever get there. A good friend said something very true to me today that others have told me too, like Andrew, but admit it ladies, sometimes it’s easier to “hear” it from close friends rather than your spouse (this is wrong and a WHOLE other blog post ). She said if I keep comparing Katie to other kids and worrying then I will drive myself crazy and HER crazy when she figures out what’s going on 😦 SAD. I dont want to cause my children undue stress. They are blessings from the Lord and I definately do NOT show appreciation to my heavenly Father when I do that. What is WRONG with me, seriously!? I have these aha moments, you know, kinda like those windows 7 commercials where all the people look way better than they really do (they are not even the same person, LOL it cracks me up). In my aha moment, I have long thick hair, haha. Really, I want to be the person in the aha moment. I know if i LET GO, RELAX, STOP comparing, SHOW appreciation for a GREAT blessing, LOVE, CHERISH, RESPECT, HONOR and ACCEPT (BIGGIE!!!!) the way Katie and all future children are made (actually this list includes accepting MYSELF, my spouse, my family, EVERYONE in my life) I would be that BETTER person.
So, I am going to enjoy this belly dancing while it lasts. I won’t read books (I worried the other day because I hadn’t felt her, but of course I did, AND ALOT, haha about 10 min later!). I want to ENJOY pregnancy because I know soon enough, Holly will be here in the world and I will have a new challenge of things to NOT worry about, haha. After she is here my challenge to myself is to fully enjoy EVERY stage of her life, even hard ones. Thats one thing I admit I wish I had done differant with Katie. I did not truly enjoy the first, oh 6 months, of her life. I really regret that now 😦 I challege myself to being enjoying, TODAY, ALL parts of Katie, and stop with worry. Worry really adds nothing to your life, even if I worried about something worthwhile, it still wouldn’t change anything. In fact, worry is taking AWAY from my life and probably shortening it. So, is my my challenge to myself. I have GOT to come up with a way to shut myself up when I begin with my obessesions or worries. Perhaps shout BELLY DANCING to myself 🙂 Maybe that would work. . .Hmm maybe after this baby I will try a little belly dancing of my own. LOL