Sunglasses

This has been a LONG week. Apparantly it has been for others, because I commented yesterday on the fact it was ONLY Wednesday and several people agreed. Why does this week seem so long? ugh, I dont know about you, but I have MY reasons! LOL. They all center around a precious little girl, whom I love DEARLY, Katie Rene’ Kulp. LOL. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not blaming her for anything, persay, it really has just been one of those weeks. Grantid, I am pregnant, so I am sure that adds to the tiredness as well as the emotional part of GETTING frustrated! LOL. For as long as I can remember, Katie has been a GREAT sleeper! She slept through the night before 6 months and has pretty much done that since. We could probably count the number of times on our hand we actually had to go in. Most times, when, well really, IF, Katie woke at night, she put herself back to sleep on her own. Of course, we had roadbumps along the way, what parent doesn’t? We had a few nights here and there of her CLEARLY fighting bedtime, lol. But, overall she has done great. . .

Well, this past month or so sleep issues have started. Katie now has 12 teeth (the molars are still working their way through, but they are all there and I can see most of the tooth) and has never really had sleep issues with any of them. The worst that happened was she’d have a hard time napping, so maybe nap 1.5hr rather than 2 hrs, and she may wake up half an hour early. No night wake-ups, she was still sleeping fine. We could put her to bed around 7:30 and count on 12 hours (sometimes more) of good solid sleep. YAY for us. Well, that has changed. Recently, she has been waking up at night, only once a night (so far), and only a couple of times a week – but it is still VERY unusual for her. She has had nightmares, poop, teething pain (she is working on all 4 canines, so I am guessing thats why it hurts more, that and they are rubbing on other teeth to work their way down, and she is “blessed” wtih a small mouth like her mommy, soooo ya I can see that hurting. My mouth wasn’t even big enough for all my teeth, which may surprise some people, haha, I had to get 4 pulled!!!) Katie has always  been such a good sleeper, we have pretty much come to the conclusion that if she wakes and cannot put herself back to sleep, its a legitimate need. So far, we have been right. As soon as we give her what she asks for, she curls back up and goes to sleep. So, I don’t think she is playing us. Of cousre, with my hormones, I have been getting really frustrated about it sometimes. I thought we must have done SOMETHING wrong. We didnt’ teach her to sleep right, we didn’t do sleep training soon enough, when in reality, we did it a little SOONER than our pedi recommended, but he told us to go ahead with it, our nighttime routine is too long, I sing to her too much, rock her too much, etc. I was blaming myself. Well, as parents, this can be bad. We have the tendency to do that when something goes wrong. We question ourselves, our instincts and abilities. We think we are bad mom’s. We wonder, HOW will I EVER have more kids!? We worry we are “screwing” our kid up. Mom’s, some of you can SAY you dont think these thigns, but I am pretty sure you do. Almost EVERY mother I have talked to has these feeligns in some way shape or form.

So, anyway, this sleep stuff has made me exhausted! I will have JUST fallen asleep at night, and she wakes up. I need to remember though that my poor daughter is suffering from it too. She isn’t doing it on purpose, I am pretty sure. As moms, we learn to read the cries. Part of me gets frustrated because I feel SO bad for her and I know there is really NOTHING I can do to help her sleep better right now 😦 Last night she woke up and asked for a drink. She said “dink fo mouth, water!” LOL. I gave it to her, she GUZZLED the WHOLE bottle down in 2 drinks!!! not kidding. When she was done, I said are you ok sweetie, its time to sleep now. She said ok mama, laid down and went to sleep. LOL. So yes, pretty sure she wasn’t manipulating me. On top of the night wakings, she has been waking earlier than normal pooping!!! Gotta love how teething messes up EVERYTHING. Literally. It is also making her stuffy, though she  may  have SOME alleriges too. . .which a stuffy nose is another reason sleep is hard. Poor kid. So far, though, she poops, I go in change her in the dark (interesting I know, lol) put her back down and she sleeps more. YAY! Today, she pooped at 7, I know that isn’t THAT early, but Katie normall sleeps till 7:30, but with waking at night she is more tired and I can tell she wants to sleep. So, this morning I put her  back down afterward and she slept over an hour! YAY! She just got up around 8:20! Poor kid.

Ok, so you are probably wondering why this is called Sunglasses. . .well I admit, I have a “losing it” problem. I get WAY to frustrated sometimes. So, last night when she woke up I almost started crying. I was SOOOO tired and I had JUST fallen asleep. UGH. So, I was so frustrated I picked up my old pair of sunglasses and threw them across the room! :/ Yes bad, I know. I really need to work on this. I know Katie isn’t doing it on purpose. I know I am a good mother and can at least calm her to where she goes right back to sleep within 1-2 minuets. I know it could be worse. I know now, honestly, to go to bed NOT knowing IF she will sleep ok or if she will wake up. I kind of expect it. If I expect it, why do I get so dang frustrated!? I am making it worse for myself. Next time, I am going to say,  Oh boy, she woke up, I was right! LOL. I am just thankful, so far, anway, that she is calming quickly and she is only waking one time a night, and it isn’t EVERY night thankfully. . .at least not yet. . .My friend told me this is VERY normal for kids this age. They have A LOT going on around this time. Growing, teething, milestones, major language bursts, etc. . .their little minds and bodies are working overtime. SO, I am sure it HAS to be hard to settle 😦 I am glad I dont remember all that, yikes. My friend has a little girl several months older than Katie and other friends with kids even older than her daughter, so yes, i trust her views. she has been through it. Her friends have been through it. I am SO thankful for her!!! She calms me down, helps me see it from a better perspective and she helps me realize I already KNOW the answers 🙂 I am a good mother and know Katie better than anyone. She is right. God has entrusted Katie to me on this earth. God knows ME better than anyone, he also knows KATIE  better than anyone. God does NOT make mistakes. Therefore, if God chose to give Katie to us, He must have confidence I can raise her, love her and not totally screw her up. He has given me accountability, friends to help and encourage, family advice and of course, a loving husband to  help too. I do NOT have to always have things figured out! Where is the fun in that!? 🙂 hahahaha. Anyway, so thats my week so far. I have just been so tired I have not written a blog in awhile. . .

Honestly this blog reminds me of something. . .as moms when we question ourselves or question God “What were you THINKING” I am not capable of this, I will screw her up, etc. We are NOT being humble about motherhood, but prideful. I know, it sounds weird. . .but here, read this blog, it is a GREAT explanation, better than i could explain. IN fact, I  have TRIED explaining why low self esteem etc, is prideful, buts its is HARD to! This pastor does a GREAT job. SO moms, lets work on our self esteem ok? Not only with ourselves, but with our kids too. We are GOOD parents. God wouldn’t have blessed us with our kids, if He didnt’ think we could do it! We dont have to do it alone either! PRAISE THE LORD! 🙂 Ok, here is the blog:  READ ABOUT PRIDE/HUMILITY HERE

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