The importance of family

I admit. We haven’t been too great at having family time lately.  We are so busy with life, we sometimes forget the importance of slowing down, just talking, turning OFF the TV, laughing, smiling, and DOING LIFE together.  As a married couple, this is even more important.  We want Katie to see how a marriage is meant to look like, and show her that the best way we can. We are not perfect, of course, but we want to make an impression on her starting at a young age.  Children are GREAT perceivers. They can tell whats going on and the mood and emotionas around them, sometimes better than we can.  I also admit that Andrew and I have not been the most pleasant to each other lately either.  I think that lately, our expectations of each other have become somewhat unreal, and that can be dangerous. The past few days we have been working REALLY hard at making sure we talk about our day, ask how each other’s day was and just LISTEN.  I am working on putting aside silly worries and focusing more on loving my husband.  Katie needs to know that Andrew is FIRST in my relationships, after the Lord, of course.  Sometimes, as mothers, we tend to foget that.  Ladies, moms, you know it’s true.  You get so busy taking care of your kids that becomes your life and you sometimes forget that being a wife came BEFORE being a mother.  When Andrew and I nitpick at each other, it makes Katie more tense, she is more ornary and not as happy. When Andrew and I are loving on each other, happy and laughing, Katie is so much more relaxed 🙂 Family is SO important, but we need to remember the order of that importance! Our relationship with Christ comes first, THEN our relationship with our spouse and THEN our relationship to our children, THEN relationship to our other family members (when we are married we are to LEAVE and CLEAVE, remember!?) then to others outside our family circle. I think even sometimes we put our husband or wife LAST, sadly. We take the opionions and advice of EVERYONE around us, or we run to our parents, before talking to our spouse!!! WHAT!? That is NOT what is suppsoed to happen. When we do this, we breakdown communication, which leads to other dangerous things for a marriage.  Now, I know that money is one of the biggest factors in divorce these days, but I really believe that the reason money is a problem is first due in part to lack of communication. When communication breaks down, all other things break down too.  It makes us become silent and uncaring. We can lose sympathy and compassion. All of these things are deadly to a marriage. So, lately, Andrew and I are really working toward better communication in marriage. We had a GREAT weekend. Saturday, after Katie went to bed, we just spent alot of time talking and praying (which we need to do more of together).  Yesterday, we worshipped together at church, then had a family lunch, then all went to the aquarium. Katie was SO happy, but Andrew and I were happy 🙂 I know kids pick up on thise things! It’s truly amazing.  No one said that marriage is easy, and those of you who think it should be or will be are sadly mislead. Marriage is HARD WORK. You have to get down and dirty and sort through issues and problems. You have to sacrifice. You have to have compassion. You have to love even when you feel like you are all loved out. Remember, love is a choice!  Now, God wants us to have a successful marriage, He does! He wants it to be full of life, love and laughter, but in order to get those things, you have to WORK at it! The most important thing is to keep God the center of our marriage and our lives. When that falls away, all other relationships, especially marriage, is bound to follow (and BOTH spouses have to want God to be the center). Both andrew and myself have sometimes become to busy we forget to keep God at the center. We need to pray together more. I need to be more disciplined at reading my bible more. I am truly thankful for a husband who wants to work THROUGH hard times and not just give up. I admit, sometimes it would be easier to give up, but Jesus doesn’t give up on us, therefore, I should not give up on ANYTHING he so graciously gave me! God bless you and your marriages! If you are struggling, please don’t give up. God can fix anything! He really can. And remember we have to do our parts in a marriage too. We need to remember to put our husband first, children second. We need to remember to care and ask about our spouses day and encourage him. We need to remember to give him time when he comes home from work before we dump what happened to us that day on him. We need to love. We need to show compassion. We need to show patience. We need to show understanding. And most important, we need to remember God! He is the glue, without him we can do nothing and nothing will succeed!

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