Little Orange Monster

OK, so wow. This past week has been CRAZY. I have not written and for that I am sorry. God has really been working on me this past week. I am such a miserable learner sometimes it just ridiculous. Andrew teases me sometimes that I will always look for something to worry about. Then, whatever it is I am currently worried about I find I dont need to worry about anymore, I just move onto something else, or LOOK for something else. Well, Andrew doesn’t really tease me about it anymore, because its true. I don’t know why I struggle with worry so much, but I do. I have periods where I do really good, but then I take like a trillion steps backward. It’s just freaking depressing. I hate it. I hate what it is doing to my life, to Andrew’s life, to those around me, to our family, to Katie (she isn’t stupid, she picks up on worry, ALL babies do!). Well, I realize that Andrew is right in another way. . .well, that and my friend nicole. . .that if I keep TALKING about it, saying I need reassurnance, I am FUELING my worry and letting it grow and mature, therefore making it harder to get rid of. I get pretty annoyed when people tell me this, though, I am beginning to realize it’s true. I can say I am not really worried, just reassure me that everything will be ok, that this will work out, etc etc. Well, doing that is pointless. I love Andrew, and I realize he has a right to be hard on me about this. He tells me to GROW UP. I do need to grow up. I  know all women struggle with worry and people pleasing, but I am like WAY extreme. I have been since I was a toddler! LOL. You should see my toddler pictures, lol. I look worried already at 2 years old! ITS BAD! Andrew jokes the only difference between my baby/toddler picture and Katie’s is that Katie isn’t worried! HAHA. We really do look THAT much alike. But, yes, Katie is smiling, me on the otherhand, look like I am about to have an anxiety attack. What in the world does a 2 year old have to be anxious about!? I have no idea!? running out of cookies? A lovey being taken away or lost? I HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE! I am a bad worrier. I write all the time about it, but for some reason, have a hard time controlling it. I think I may just have to FINALLY take Andrews advice, ugh, I hate when my husband is right, ok ok, EVERYONE is right, and just QUIT ASKING QUESTIONS, QUIT talking to everyone about my worries. That DOES feed it. I need to freaking STARVE the dickens out of worry. Have you seen that weight watchers commerical with “hunger” as that little oranage monster who creeps up on the person trying to lose weight and sabatoge them? Well, that little orange monster is MY worry. I need to shut it out, up, in a drawer, stomp on it, light it on fire, I dont know, but something. That guy is starting to get on my last nerve, and I am starting to get on everyone else’s, and I would much rather kill my little orange monster then have someone want to kill me! HAHA!


2 thoughts on “Little Orange Monster

  1. Consider the lilies of the fields and the birds of the air, they have no place to lay their heads but God takes of them. He clothes them and feeds them and takes care of them. Maybe you need a bird pin to wear on your blouse or around neck to remind you that worrying is unnecessary. As I tell my kids, God will take care of you if you’ll just let Him. My mother used to warn us that worrying causes your hair to turn grey. She must have worried a lot because she was grey headed by the time she was 30. Just consider the lilies of the fields and the birds of the air.

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