So yesterday as I was downstairs working for my friend. She is a therapist for families, kids, parents, etc. I help her with her paperwork, patient files and insurance claims. I am getting paid, woohoo, which helps our family for sure. Anyhoo!!! She also has a degree in speech and linguistics therefore has been explaining to me alot how speech works and how it develops in babies brains as they are learning it. It is quite interesting actually. She, I admit, most often tells me these tips in order to calm me down from worrying. Well, I was talking about how I had a bad worry day yesterday. She asked me about it and I shared with her. Of course, I worry about me as a mom, about Katie, that I don’t get enough done, etc etc etc. Most of the time my worries are about how she says thing, or pronounces them. Silly, I know, as she is only 19 months! LOL! So when I think this, of course, it is easy to start the comparison game with what kid says what, how that kid says this or that verses your kid. Well first off, comparison games are dangerous and we, as mothers, need to just totally stop. Well, after telling her about my day, she basically just looked at me, as a friend and in love, of cousre, and said “Emily, you are comparing, STOP!” She, of course, told me how amazing Katie was and how she DOES talk VERY clear for 19 months (most strangers understand Katie!). However, she then went on to basically tell me that I was NOT respecting Katie. OUCH!! WHAT!? EXCUSE ME!? I most certainly do!!!! I love her, I take care of her, I make her feel better when she is sick, I praise her when she does something well, I discipline her in love. I do all the things a mom is supposed to do, how could I not respect her? Well, my friend said, by comparing her to others that I am not respecting how her brain was wired to learn. Each kids learns differantly, therefore, when I compare, I really am NOT repsecting those differences! Wow, that is so true. I felt pretty crummy after that. I, in no way, want to disrespect my daughter. I love her to pieces! I guess that is, in some ways, why I worry about her. I am sure that is why all of us worry. However, in my worry, which I shouldn’t do anyway, but I should be even more careful to not disrespect her learning. If I disrespect her learning then I am bascially telling God I don’t like how He wired her. Ewww not good!
So, anyway moms. Remember this. I know some of you are WAY better at this than me, I have some moms who are REALLY good about not comparing. Though, I think all moms do to some extent. Let’s respect our kids ok!? Let’s respect how our children are wired. Let’s respect how God created their little brains to learn, process information. So, ya, I totally need to remember that!? That by comparing I REALLY am DISrespecting her!