My permanant “carry-on”

I carry excess baggage with me. Every day. Every where. It is REALLY annoying at times. BUT, being a female, I am pretty sure that all of us carry this lovely little piece of baggage with us around – and it ain’t one of those designer purses either. It isn’t some Louie Vutton (though I would personally rather have a Kathy Van Zeeland, or something else anyday) expensive, chic, handbags. It is not made from one of those wierd animal leathers, like a ostrich or komoto dragon (though, I think they are endangered, so that may be illegal).  This bag is not lined with peacock feathers or cebu fur, not that a bag really HAS cebu fur, is a cebu even a real animal? Anyway, the bag I am talking about would be stark white, in order to show ALL the stains, all the belmishes, all the tears and rips, all the dirt, all the well. . .crap. It would NOT be made of leather, but probably like burlap or something REALLY itchy and gross, maybe sandpaper?? It isn’t a pretty design, but the most ugly thing you could possible think of. . .this permanant carry-on I am referring to is called SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES. In fact, this bag would probably have “I HAVE SELF ESTEEM ISSUES” stitched across the front in blood red, you know, kind of like the scarlett letter. Don’t ANYONE go near her, she is tainted and she definately has problems. I don’t have time for her. . .

Ladies, how many of you have this carry on with you? At least SOME of the time? Some days we can get up and not carry this trashy piece of garbage with us that totally ruins our look. However, some days we carry this piece of baggage with us – and it would be like wearing Crocs to the Oscars, or serving McDonald’s to the president, or GASP, having your skirt tucked into your panties coming out of the restroom on a date with the most beautiful man ever. Ok, I admit this totally happened to me, but not on a date, it was in 5th grade and I walked by a boy I had a crush on, so, I am PRETTY sure that is worse -at least I didn’t also have toilet paper stuck to my shoe, that would have just been the icing on the cake

So ladies? What does YOUR carry on look like?  How heavy is it?  Do you just continue to cram stuff in it like you are going to study for the biggest test of your life? Do you ever do a spring cleaning on this piece of baggage? To be honest, I tend to “clean” it out, only to find the same issues back in the bag a few days later. Why is that!? Why can’t I just toss the stupid comments and issues down the drain and chop them to bits with the garbage disposal? Instead, I let them fester in there, getting all fuzzy, stinky, moldy, slimy, sticky, smelly – UGH WHY? It is like this mutating piece of green alien goo, it just seems to keep growing and growing, never running out of room, taking over EVERYTHING. How is that!? How is it that we ladies can keep cramming so much junk into this bag?  Really, haven’t you head that carrying things to heavy is bad on your back? This bag is going to end up making us look like the hunchback of notre dame, and while he is sweet, I don’t exactly want to spend my days living in a bell tower. I would then, not only have a bad back, REALLY bad self esteem, but I would also probably end up deaf.  But this is EXACTLY what happens when we carry those LIES from Satan with us in this bag. It tears us apart bit by bit. It deteriorates our bodies from the inside out, just like mutating green alien goo!  When we let what others say about us RULE us, we will die slowly and painfully, like being cut apart piece by piece, finger by finger, limb by limb. It happens so slowly you won’t realize it until it is TOO late. At that point, Satan is doing his little touchdown dance in hell, eating chips and dip, and drinking beer with all his homies because has ruined, yet another, life created by God – and God thinks we are beautiful, He does NOT make mistakes! 

Earlier, on facebook, I  had a status up saying that it was hard for me to let go of something hurtful someone said to me. It was not just about me, but about my mothering, which is like one billion gamillion bazillion times worse that someone telling me I am ugly, have bad hair, pimples, or the dreaded “GROSS YOU ARE A FAT *****” , well you know the rest. For real, someone basically telling me I stink at mothering, or whatever, is WORSE to me than calling me fat. And trust me girls, there are days where I feel really, well, FAT!  But, I started thinking. You know what? This is EXACTLY what Satan WANTS me to think. I was reminded of this by a wonderful friend, Amanda – I LOVE YOU FRIEND, thank you! She is so right. By allowing what someone said, who is not even AROUND me as a mom and hardly knows me or my personality, is just acting plain, how do I put this gently, MORONIC (truthfully, it is probably the person who said the comment that really is the moronic one, but who’s counting?)!? When people tear you down, YOU are not the one with the problem, THEY are. It is SO hard to remember this though, isn’t it ladies!? I mean, heck, there are days I cannot even remember to put on deoderant or brush my teeth! I have even forgotten, EEEEEK, to wear my wedding rings!  GREAT!  Just what I need?  I mean, I already look 15, so why not go out with my daughter, NOT wearing wedding rings, that will just give me even MORE stares and people asking me if I am in high school!?  I may get signed up for an episode of “teen mom”! LOL! THAT my friends is a WHOLE other issue. So, anyway, yes, remembering this is SOOOO hard. But girls, moms, wives, teenagers, ANYONE, we HAVE TO!  We cannot keep letting others stomp on us and hurl their insults into our “carry-on” like a game of ring toss. If we do, we cannot and WILL not  be able to finish the wonderful race that our Father has set out before us. It will WEIGH us down and SLOW us down!!! It is time to sluff off this carry on and fly free – I mean, now days, it costs like  what, a million dollars extra to travel with bags anyway, so, I would rather save the money for a trip to Hawaii 😉

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”  Hebrews 12:1-3

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