JUNKIE

So, I have decided I need to take a few days off from the computer.  I am a internet JUNKIE!  I need to kick a really BAD habit I had stopped, but over the past week, have gotten back in it. What IS this bad habit? RESEARCHING. Yes, this can be good at times, but more times than not researching only leads us to worry about stupid stuff we never even would have THOUGHT of otherwise. I go to look up one thing, then read something else that makes me worry about something TOTALLY differant! It is getting RIDICULOUS. It doesn’t even matter what it’s about!  Swine Flu, cancer causing hot dogs, will I die from eating ice cream, will eating non orgranic chicken make me grow extra parts, preganancy stuff, baby stuff, toddler stuff, marital stuff, WHATEVER. There is just WAY too much junk out there on the internet. The problem I have is I don’t always, ok, I almost NEVER, read RELIABLE sources (if i DO read reliable ones, I  usually feel better and stop worrying, umm for about 5 seconds!), especially when it comes to things about children. I read any old thing that mama jean and papa joe have to say, when they are not professionals and have NO clue what they are talking about!  This, in turn makes me worry about things that don’t even make sense! It also makes me ask people really really, I mean, REALLY, stupid questions. Like questions that my doctors and child therapist/speech neighbor try really hard to to LAUGH at me for! Yes, it’s THAT bad. I am THAT bad. I am a research, internet junkie and I need to stop. You know you have a problem when you go to find something “helpful” , then in that thing that is supposed to be helpful, you find something else and think, omg what if I HAVE THAT!? I mean, i  have like ONE symptom out of 50, maybe I should go research it. So, then I go research whatever it was I was not even looking for in the first place, only to find yet another thing to worry about. I am definately a research junkie. It is almost like I cannot stay away from the computer when I question something, worry about something or wonder about something. It really is toxic. I don’t want this to interfere with my family. It already hurts my husband. I definately don’t want it hurting our children in the future, or make them question everything and struggle with axiety like me. It really is like a drug.  I think people were a lot better off in the days they didn’t have all this garbage to look up! They lived their lives one day at a time. They rejoiced at happy times, not fretted about what could be, or what was to come, like so many of us do today. I think a large part of the reason for that is the easy access to “TMI”!!!! Yes, even “research” can have too much information. Half the stuff out there is not RELIABLE. Half the stuff is a marketing ploy. Half the junk is not from people who even know what they are talking about. And fellow mommies! Some of us are WORST at doing this!!! Really, we are! So, I have decided in order to help me realize I will really be OK without researching, I am taking at least three days off from the internet. In fact, I am going to go as far as to not even turn my computer on. If I do, it will just be a temptation I am not sure I could overcome right now.  So, please pray for me. I really MUST kick this AWFUL AWFUL habit. I need to trust the reliable sources that DO speak truth into my life and listen to them!  When doctors and such tell me I am fine, andrew is fine, katie is fine, your dog is fine, lol, I NEED to believe them. WHY do i have a problem believing people!? :/ That’s another issue! Basically I am all screwy in the head! 🙂 haha!

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