So, I go from writing like no blogs, to two in one day. This will not become habit, i am sure, but i could just not pass up on writing this. As I sit here watching the Carrie Underwood Christmas special, eating ENTIRELY too many tortilla chips with salsa and southwestern ranch dip, AND drinking a Dr. Pepper. . .wow, so that looks REALLY sinful seeing that written out. Ok, putting the chips away now. . .
Anyway, as I am watching the amazing Carrie strut her stuff and her voice, it makes me remember the days I dreamed to be a singer and a star. When I was a little girl and even through college, I had dreams of performing. My specific dream was to be Christine from “Phantom of the Opera.” I have sung some of her songs for voice recitals and for my college spring show. . .I loved loved loved that music, so I could not imagine a more exciting life than to BE her on the biggest stage of all! BROADWAY! Even when I was first out of college and moved to Auburn, AL, then dating, then through engagement, then even into my newlywed years, I still had that dream! I would watch American Idol in awe of those brave enough to sing for Simon! To be completely honest I was often times jealous. I had times where I wished I was the one singing on the stage, I was the one to WIN!
I still LOVE singing, but I can honestly say that tonight, I am watching Carrie and LOVING it, just because its fun and funny, cute and witty. I am relaxing and enjoying myself. I am in no way jealous, or even WISHING I was the one singing with Dolly Parton or Kristin Chenoweth. . .In fact, I can now honestly say I do NOT want to be famous anymore, I do NOT want to be a star. All my dreams changed with the birth of our daughter, Katie Rene’. You cannot really have both fame and family. You can try, but I believe, in the end, one would have to be sacrificed, or placed on the backburner. I would not want to put my family on that burner. My heart has grown to a size I never knew was possible with the birth of my daughter. Watching Andrew be a father makes me realize that my FAMILY is my dream. God is allowing me to fullfill even better dreams than I had before 🙂 thank the Lord that he doesn’t always give us what we ask for the way we ask for it 🙂 Anyway, just wanted to share that. you may have dreams right now that are pretty big, but I can almost guarentee you, that once you have children. . .all those will change. . .WOW, will they change, but trust me. . .it’s for the better 🙂