Memories

So first off, yesterday at Journey was good.  JourneyKidz was fun and we finished up yet another Elevate series, “Super Sports Spectacular.”  I absolutely love this one.  The kids did to, boys and girls alike.  The songs were great, easy to learn, upbeat and fun to dance to.  The girls especially got into “shaking it up” as one of the songs said 🙂

So, now for the title of my blog:  Memories.  With Andrew and I expecting our first child in September, Katie Kulp :-), it does bring back some memories from the past, some wonderful and some not so wonderful.  I think as parent we always want our children to have a better life than we did.  Now, I am not saying I had a bad life, I didn’t.  In fact, I think I had a pretty great life with a wonderful mom who I know loved me very much.  However, we did go through something very hard in our life when I was only 12, my sister not even 6.  We came home one day after a half day at school to discover my father had taken his own life.  Now only being 12, I guess I cannot accurately remember EVERYTHING about the kind of man my father was.  However, I can honestly say we felt there were no signs.  He was laid off his job and being somewhat of a perfectionist and a worry wart, felt he could no longer support our family and probably felt he failed us.  This memory has been a pretty hard one lately, considering we are having our first little girl and my father will not be here to be a granddaddy.  He would have been a great one.  My father, even with the fatal mistake he made, was a loving man, a godly man and one who enjoyed helping others.  I learned so much about Christ’s love and Jesus from my mom and dad.  In JourneyKidz this week, the main point was “To play on God’s team, you don’t give up with times get tough.”  I can honestly say this is very true in life.  God doesn’t promise a life free of pain or trials, but He does promise He will be there for us through them.  This earth is corrupt, we are corrupt, so bad things happen.  However, when they do, we musn’t give up.  Keep on the path for God is with you through it and will use it to strengthen our faith and relationship with Him.  Thankfully even through this tragic time, God has allowed me to use this experience to help others.  The Bible verse we learned in JourneyKidz was this. . .this is a hard verse sometimes to live by, but it is very true and if we can do our best to live by this verse, our life, though difficult at times, will be filled with more faith and more blessing.  Here is the verse.  If any of you have gone through this, or losing anyone you love, or just any hard times, hang in there.  Contact me if you need, I will be praying for you and do my best to help and encourage you.

The next memory that will be a hard one in the future is having to sit down and have “the talk” with Katie.  Not because I am afraid of talking about those types of things, but because it is at this time I know I will have to talk to her about the abusive relationship I was in in college, the fear I had of staying in it, but how I had more fear to get out of it.  How after I finally had the courage to leave, I then fell into a group of friends that was not a good influnece on my behavior either and how I went to parties too much and too often.  I know and trust though that the Lord will use this as a bonding experience with my daughter. I pray it will help her see her mom as human, have respect for me, and love me more for being open and honest with her. 

However, there are SOOOO many more good memories I have of growing up that I hope to pass on to my daugher.  The songs my mother wrote for me as a child I hope to adapt to fit Katie’s name and sing them to her.  How Christmas morning was filled with excitement and how Christmas Eve we shared the Christmas story with each other.  Family vacations.  Birthday parties.  Worshipping together as a family at our church.  Family devotions.  My dad tucking me in at night, telling me a story he created about a little girl, Matilda, and her fairy princess.  I got to pick how the story went, pick the places they visited, and my dad would create an amazing story for me.  All of these things are wonderful memories, however I know we all have good and bad memories and times in our life that shape who we are today.  So, I wouldn’t trade any of my circumstances or situations, because God has used all of them, good AND bad, to make me the Emily I am today, and hopefully, the mother I will be.  God Bless!

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