Hurt
So, I was looking back on old pictures of Katie tonight. I was almost in tears at how much my little baby has grown. I saw a picture of my friend Melanie after just having her baby, Anna, and how we visited her in the hospital. Our girls are only 2 weeks apart! Seeing how itty bitty Katie was in that picture made me teary. I really really really want another little one. I have a sense we may have another girl, so I am already thinking of names, hehe. NO, we are not pregnant, yet, lol. I am not QUITE ready 
So anyway, looking at these pictures made me realize how much I love my daughter. I love her so much it hurts. I would do anything for her. I never like seeing her in pain, like from getting shots, sad day 
, I never enjoy having to discipline her, I HATE IT! There is a song in choir we are working on called “When I lay my Issac down.” It is about sacrificing EVERYTHING to God, just as Abraham was about to sacrifice the thing he loved most in the world. . .his son. I cannot imagine. I do NOT think I could have done that at all. I would have told God he was crazy if he asked me to sacrifice my daughter. I do realize though, that Katie belongs to God. God entrusted Katie to Andrew and me, and boy I am sure glad he did, we are so blessed. She is a little bundle of joy. I felt crappy yesterday, but having a sweetheart like that made me feel so much better. ANYWAY, I realized how hard it would be for me to do as Abraham did. For those of you who know the story, God did not allow him to sacrifice (kill) his son. He stopped him and said do NOT lay a hand on that boy! God provided a ram. God simply wanted to know that Abraham trusted Him enough. However, there WAS someone who DID sacrifice his son, and there was NO ram. God. God sacrificed his only son for us. US! WOW! having a child really makes that sink in. I could NOT sacrifice Katie for billions of people I don’t know. But God did, because he loves ALL of us, he knows about all of us. He doesn’t just want to know who we are, He wants to KNOW us. He wants a relationship with us, he wants to be our “father” too and for us to be His children. I am so thankful for what Christ did for me. I know I could not do it. Thank you Lord for your sacrifice! I love Katie so much it hurts. God loves his son so much he allowed him to die for us, because Christ new it was the only way. Christ knew in order for us to have a realtionship with his father he had to die and he was willing to come to Earth and do that. That takes hurt to a whole other level. I love Katie so much it hurts. Christ loves US so much HE was willing TO hurt. . .
I love reading your thoughts. As a mother, have you ever tried putting yourself in Mary’s sandals? We talk so much about what was asked of Abraham; yet he didn’t have to really do it. We talk about God sacrificing His Son. What about Mary? She carried Him 9 months in the womb. She cuddled Him when He cried and held Him to her breast when He was hungry. She watched His first tottering steps. She told Him stories and sang Him songs. She probably took Him with her to the marketplace and took Him for long walks to visit friends and relatives. She coped with His pre-teen independence. She watched as He left the security of the family home and business to launch out on His own. I could go on and one with similarities to her life and yours and mine. We read over and over that she “pondered it all in her heart.” (She didn’t have a blog to pour her thoughts into.) She understood He was the Messiah; yet she fretted over her boy and wondered what God was doing and how He would carry out His plan. THEN she stood at the foot of the cross and watched them crucify her Baby. Can you feel her human agony, her pain? I really don’t believe she fully understood what was happening. Though she must have still “pondered” what God was doing, yet she trusted in God. She consoled the distraught disciples; she rejoiced in the news of the resurrrection; she prayed with the apostles after the Ascension, and she continued to serve the early Church. May we all show Mary’s kind of devotion to God that transcends our earthly sufferings and whatever sacrifices God calls us to make.
WOW you are so right. I cannot believe I forgot that! I even wrote a song about that actually. I guess I didn’t think about Mary because I was just thinking of the song we were singing in choir. Beautiful words. Thank you
Love you!