insane in the membrane
Ok, so I have been pretty gosh darn awful at writing new blogs lately. Give me a LITTLE break at least though, we have LOTS of stuff going on in our lives! It is awesome and great stuff, but nonetheless, it is more stuff. Sometimes, I feel like I am going insane. . .in a good way though, if that is possible. Andrew and I are starting to really realize that this church plant things is ACTUALLY becomming a light at the end of the tunnel. It just isn’t a far away dream anymore, but it is slowly becomming a reality. Actually, scratch that. I think it is becomming a reality faster than we want to admit. We got our first step of the assessment sent off, and they informed us they did get it, so that is a good thing. Eventually, we will have to plan a trip up there to meet the NAM people in Baltimore, which will probably be a little bit scary for me since it will be my first time in the ”hot seat”. I think I may feel like a suspect on “CSI” or “Law & Order” where they are sitting in a dark, dismal, gray room with only a small light, which happens to be shining directly on their faces. You then have the cop screaming at them, forcing you to tell them everything you know and the “so-called bad guy” is crying, “I don’t know anymore, I promise, I told you all I know!” Ok, so I don’t think it will be that dramatic, but I am still a little nervous. Andrew has informed me it won’t be “that bad” (whatever THAT means) so I guess I should believe him. . .afterall he IS my husband! So, needless to say, A LOT has been going through my mind. Honestly, the biggest fear I have is when they send out the questionares for your references to fill out, mail back, therefore, you NEVER know what they actually said about you. I guess that is a weakness of mine, wanting things to be under control, and I will have no control over, or even know, what they said, so it scares me. It is like so, how much do these people REALLY like me, type thing? Yes, I know that I need to not worry so much about what others think of me, only what God thinks of me. I have gotten better actually, though that may surprise some of you, because I know you are thinking right now “umm she has?” Trust me folks, I have. I realize it isn’t what others say about me that matters most, but what God says about me (Read HERE, HERE and HERE for some words on what God has to say about you!) and how I show the Lord in my life to others, and that will show the church plant people the most about me, not just some words written down on paper. I have confidence when I meet them the Lord will give me the words to say, the courage to be myself, the Emily God made, not the Emily I THINK they want me to be. Whenever I worry too much about what someone else thinks of me, God always brings this verse back to my mind. . .
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galations 1:10
It is important to realize as Christ followers we cannot please everyone. We SHOULD not please everyone. Geez, we won’t even please other Christ-followers! Everyone has their own opinion about what we should do, when we should do it, how we should do it, telling us to be careful not to make others mad. Heck, all this advice we are getting right now is enough to make one go “insane in the membrane!” And to be honest, it will, IF we are trying to please man. If we are trying to please God, then we will follow God’s will regardless of what others say. Pleasing God is not as hard as one thinks either, in fact, it is probably a whole lot easier than trying to make everyone else happy! This verse is so true, if we strive for making everyone around us comfortable and happy, we are neglecting the Lord. We cannot serve 2 masters. Man expects a whole lot from us and will even get angry if it doesn’t go how they wanted it to. God, on the other hand, loves us unconditionally, regardless of what we do or when we mess up. So, as Andrew and I begin this process, I need to remember this verse. I need to focus on pleasing the Lord, letting him shine in my life, and be myself! If I am who God wants me to be, more people will like me than if I try to be who MAN wants me to be!
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